One of the things that stop us from telling our divorce story is the idea that you have to re-live the pain again. However, you may see this as a free therapeutic session. When you get to tell your story, you also get to vent out your feelings. One of the first few people to know your story is your relatives. If you do not know how to start, here is a guide to help you tell your relatives about your divorce .
The first thing that you have to do is to reflect on whether you are actually ready to talk about your pain. If you think that you are not ready to recall the details of your rocky relationship, you may just opt to keep it to yourself. However, I am not suggesting that you keep everything inside, you need to breathe out.
If you have kids, they are the first relatives that should know what is really happening. It might be that your kids aren't asking but they can actually sense it if there is an issue inside your home. One of their coping mechanisms would be to ignore the problem that they know exists. Hence, free them from the burden and inform them of the changes that might happen.
You can't just vent out on your kids like you would to a friend or a relative your age. The best way to deal with this is to attack it according to their age group. If they are still on elementary, tell them the story that they will understand. You may spare them of the complicated details. Just assure them that you will try to do everything to make life better for them.
For children that are in teen years, they actually have the tools to comprehend what is happening. By this age, they are already aware what divorce is. So, tell them. Again, highlight the fact that you and your partner would do everything to avoid any huge changes. If you can, try to free your kids from changes in school or residence. These are just too huge for them, and stressful.
The next thing would be your other relatives. Do not hesitate to tell your mom, dad, and siblings. They would understand. Also, the moral support, which you need during this process, will be provided by these people you love and who love you. Aside from the financial support, moral support is as important as the prior one.
You may also talk to the relatives of your partner. You don't need to tell your side of the story unless they ask you. Also, you may talk to them, if the battle in the court would not be against your side if you communicate with these relatives. This might just be a courteous action. Tell them that they could still visit and talk to your kids.
We all know that divorce is a daunting process. It was never easy, but, it could be done. Hence, you have to be courageous and make most of the support that you have. Appreciate the people around you. Take time to say thank you as they help you go through these problems. A little appreciation goes a long a way.
There is no right or wrong way of telling your story, unless, you are intentionally fabricating the story. If you are not yet ready, don't disclose yourself yet. This guide that will help you tell your relatives about your divorce does not have an absolute rule too. It all depends on what you feel, and what you think is appropriate.
Be kind to yourself. You deserve a break from it all. So, feel free to talk about your divorce to your family and relatives. They will listen to you intently.
