Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. You need to learn to be strategic in where you spend your precious energy. Here are some common energy drains and how you can plug them.
Energy Drain #1, - Pity Parties and Gossip-Mongering
It's natural to feel sorry for yourself and to enjoy the sympathy of others. However, don't make it a long-standing habit. What you focus your attention on expands. Keeping your energy on the negative ultimately keeps you more stuck in the mud, than moving out of it.
Solution:Set a time-limit to any pity parties. Decline invitations to gossip-mongering or ex-bashing conversations. Simply let people know you've decided to focus on creating a great future for yourself, instead of endlessly rehashing the past.
Energy Drain #2 - Expect Your Social Friendships to Stay the Same
In most cases, a divorce creates a shift in your social landscape, despite good intentions that you "keep in touch." Family members decide that blood is ultimately thicker than water and you lose touch with them. You drop out of the social calendars of some of your "friends." Your energy drops as you see your social network change.
Solution:Realize that some change in your social fabric is inevitable. Bless those people who've been in your life and let them go with gratitude. Letting go of relationships that no longer fit will help you start to attract new friendships that will inspire and support you moving forward.
Energy Drain #3 - Neglect Your Physical Environment
You arrive home after a busy day and the first thing you see is..what? Unopened mail? Dirty dishes in the sink? Stacks of partially read newspapers? There's nothing like physical clutter to make your energy level sink like a stone. You try keep on top of your home environment, but you feel lethargic at the thought of tidying things up.
Solution:You don't have to become a total neat freak, but give yourself the gift of creating a peaceful environment that supports and nurtures you. Start small and simple. Pick a project and set your timer to 10 minutes and do as much as you can. You'll be surprised at how revitalizing it can be to reclaim your physical space.
Energy Drain #4 - Live in Overdrive
Moving through a major life transition can be painful and lonely. Some people make the mistake of keeping really busy so they don't have time to think or feel. They hope that by living in overdrive somehow the pain will go away.
Solution:You cannot heal what you are unwilling to feel. Leave a space for quiet reflection and introspection. Instead of starving your spiritual life, invite forms of stillness in your life so you can tap into your wisdom. Let your intuition show you the next steps on your path.
Energy Drain #5 - Go it Alone
Another common energy drain is the belief that you have to solve your problems all by yourself. People keep a stiff upper lip and don't want to admit they need help. It takes a lot of energy to keep that brave front up!
Solution:Get yourself some support. Connecting with a group of like-minded individuals is so helpful not only because of what you can learn, but because of the realization that you are not alone. That's part of the power of the Thrive Community calls we have here at Thrive after Divorce. Find a trusted friend, divorce buddy or divorce coach so you can talk through your specific issues.
