Do You Believe in God
"Do you believe in God?" The old man asked me.
"Yes, I do!" I replied.
"Prove it!" the old man said.
I had never been asked such a question. It took me off guard. It was one of the few times in my life that I can remember that I didn't have something to say immediately. To be fair, it is not a question that can be lightly answered. So after deliberating for a short time I replied.
I said "Old man, everywhere I look I see the power of God, everywhere I look I see the creativity of God, and everywhere I look I see the genius of God. Just by using one of the five known senses of man, I can see the absolute power of God, the enormity of the world in-fact the universe, only a supremely powerful being unlike any being that I can perceive could have achieved this. I see flowers, I see trees, I see rivers, oceans and lakes, I see deserts, I see snow, and I see skies and the heavenly bodies. I see all of this and I see creativity of a supremely creative being unlike any being that logical perception allows me to understand. I look at how we breathe and how we move our hands and how our whole body works. I look at how the earth revolves around the sun and how the moon revolves around the earth. I see how the seasons change and with this change the flowers the fruits and the temperature change. I see the birth of all the living beings. All I can think of is the genius of the Creator. A Genius of a calibre with no parallel available to mankind."
"Old man, I hear different sounds. I hear humans talk in different languages and yet understand each other. I hear so many animals making distinct sounds and each breed recognizing and understanding each other. I hear the wind when it blows; I hear the water drops when it rains. I hear thunderstorms, I hear volcanic eruptions and all I can do is marvel at the ingenuity of the Creator who gave me the power to hear all that I can hear. Likewise, my body along with the body of every living creature can feel, it can feel heat, it can feel cold, and it can feel pain and pleasure. My sense of smell my sense of taste, all of my senses tell me one thing that there is a Being above me, a Being that created me and the world and the universe that I live in. That Being, old man, is God and this is my proof."
The old man smiled "Perhaps you didn't understand my question!" he said continuing to smile.
I looked at him quizzically, "Pray explain yourself old man!"
"Son, I asked whether you believed in God, I did not ask you if you doubted His existence. I ask you again, you clearly believe in His existence but do you believe in Him or not?"
This was the second time the old man had cornered me in the same conversation. "Old man I don't understand, I always thought believing in God meant believing in His existence, if it is not His existence then what should I believe in to be able to believe in God?"
The old man proceeded towards a bench "Son, why don't we sit and I will try to explain what I mean to ask. I would like to apologize for not being able to convey my question properly." He said sitting down on the bench. The bench was situated somewhere in the southeast corner of the park, facing a huge pond. There were numerous ducks and swans along with other birds in the pond and some people paddling away in boats. The weather was perfect for an afternoon stroll, which I had decided to undertake earlier that day. It was mostly cloudy with the sun showing time and again. There was a cool breeze, it did not seem like a bright, sunny June afternoon at all. There were traces of last night's thunder storm, the ground was tender but not yet wet. Many people had come out to enjoy the afternoon, people of all ages, especially children. I had walked around the park and was headed in the southeast direction towards the pond, hoping to find a place to sit down and enjoy the sunset later on. I spotted the bench and was walking towards it when an old man stopped me and asked me if I believed in God?
"As you wish old man, you don't have to apologize, it is I who should apologize for not understanding you properly!" I said sitting at the opposite end of the bench.
"Son, you so aptly explained the existence of God but do you honestly believe that quantifies as believing in Him?"
After thinking for a short while I replied with a firm "Yes!"
"This God that you so fiercely believe in, has he left you any commandments that he wants you to follow?" The old man still had a smile on his face but his tone had lost the smile, he, now seemed completely serious.
"The God I believe in has not left me with commandments, He has left me with a complete way of life, for me as an individual and for the society as a whole" I replied with firmness.
"So are you living the complete life?" I felt the smile in his tone reviving.
It was my turn to smile. For a short while the old man had me believing that he was going to impart something new. "Old man, I can see where your headed for, if I were able to follow all the commandments of God to the ‘t', I would be a good Muslim and if I don't I wouldn't . This has nothing to do with believing in God."
"But it has everything to do with believing in God! You seem like an educated man, I am surprised that educated people like you can be clueless about God" I felt the old man speaking earnestly.
"Since you are so well versed why don't you enlighten me" I replied in an equally earnest tone.
"Forgive this old man, son, for in my excitement I forget the etiquette of talking. But I would love to share my understanding with you if only you have the patience of bearing me till the time I have explained my point of view. If you choose to agree or disagree will be up to you" Said the old man eagerly looking at me.
"It is a beautiful day! What better way to spend it rather than speaking of the one God that created it" I replied. "So, Old man, enlighten me as to what believing in God actually means?"
"Before I answer your question I have a question for you my son, do you know what the term ‘self surrender' means?" The old man asked me.
"With my limited understanding I believe ‘self surrender' means giving up your will to someone or something."
"That is a good enough answer but not a complete one, we will touch this topic again. Now coming back to your question of believing in God and what it means, my son, if you surrender yourself completely to God that is when you truly believe."
I smiled "I was thinking you would come up with a completely alien concept. Old man don't think that I am going to let you off the hook with just that. So self surrender, according to you means believing in God. Then let me ask you this, what does the term ‘self surrender' encompass?"
"Self surrender revolves around ‘Nafs' and the fact that God is watching you all the time!" He replied.
"Correct me if I am wrong, from what you just told me, self surrender is related to the fact that God is watching all the time. That could mean one of the two things that come to my mind, love or fear. So which one is it? Is it fear or is it love that leads to self surrender?" I asked.
"Self surrender is actualized with pure love of the Supreme Creator. But in order to love God you have to fear Him first. Fear is an integral part of the human psyche. A human either fears the unknown or the known, the former is the fear of all those things or beings which the five senses of man cannot perceive while the later is the fear which is instilled through knowledge. Fear of the unknown as far as God is concerned is hell, fear of the known in sequence here is fire. God instils fear in man by telling man about hell then He explains hell to contain fire, now man has no clue about hell but man knows for sure about the burning caused by fire. The first step towards God is through fear, with the passage of time this fear turns into awe and love of the creator starts blooming in the breast. Somewhere during this process the creation known as man, surrenders the essence of its being to God, truly believing in Him."
"You have told me about the importance of fearing God. You have also told me about the types of fear but what do I actually have to fear as far as God is concerned?" I asked.
"Fear of God comes naturally to man. Intrinsically, man is born dependant. In the hour of need man always looks up to a superior force for help, as a child this force is found in the shape of parents and as a grownup, the force is found in the shape of a being so supreme that it is beyond man's perception. When the object of dependence is taken away from man, in any stage of his existence, man is compelled to feel fear. So fear of God is actually the fear of calling out to Him and not finding Him there to give succour. This happens when man acts in a way which leads to the Creator's displeasure, which can also lead to His wrath. Man can earn God's displeasure by acting contrary to that which has been ordained by Him. The standard of correct moral or ethical behaviours have already been established, received by mankind through divine inspiration, but established nonetheless and accepted by men of all races with slight variation here and there. Every time a normal human errs, deep within himself he feels certain guilt. This guilt may exist because of the moral fabric of society in which this man may be bound by birth, which has helped in forming the definition of the act committed as being a wrong. But as already mentioned the difference between right and wrong have been established by God through divine inspiration. As long as a person feels this guilt, he or she in fact fears something, as the guilt of doing wrong is actually the fear of being reprimanded for the wrong act. This fear if understood correctly should amount to be equivalent to the fear of God, even when the fear is of being apprehended by one's parents, as parents have God given authority over their children. But then there are those, who don't feel any guilt at all after committing any kind of wrong acts, those are the ones who have gone astray. This feeling of guiltlessness comes after a person commits a large number of acts, deemed wrong by the society in which the person resides, without repenting or feeling remorse. These people at large tend to disregard all kinds or authority, rules and believe in complete chaos, anarchy. Although this feeling of anarchy may prevail in people who do not commit deeds deemed wrong by the society."
"That is no doubt an interesting concept. What about love, what is the concept behind love of God?" I asked.
"The most beautiful of all emotions given to man is the emotion of love. Throughout the history of man, there are numerous fascinating tales of love between a variety of relations. But the love of God is love supreme. When every action of an individual, conscious or subconscious, is taken for the sake of God. The enormity of this concept is not easy to understand, to actually apply the theory of this concept practically is harder then you can conceive. I will try to explain the essence of this concept as briefly as I can." Replied, the old man. After a moment of silence he continued "As you yourself told me that God has outlined a complete way of life for you, to make it easy for conversation I will call them commandments. These commandments have us lead our life in a way which God has ordained for us and that He wants us to follow. God has also given us a free will, so that we can choose whether we follow any of his commandments or some of them or all of them. Now a number of these commandments run contrary to the developed nature and psyche of man. I am calling it developed because when a baby is born it is untaught, certain aspects of its nature are inherited or uniquely assigned to it on its birth but other than that it is untaught. It is left at the mercy of other humans as to what it is taught, those humans are parents, family, peers and society as a whole. As the child grows, it learns to adapt to the norms of its surroundings. These norms don't always conform to the commandants of God. On top of that humans have certain natural urges which lie directly in contrast to what God expects us as humans to perform. The natural urges mentioned here are also inherited from the society. The contrasting way that God has laid down in His commandments, the perfect way how a human should live, is not easy yet extremely easy. The pivotal factor here is love of the Creator. Going back to the statement I made earlier about every action of an individual is taken for the sake of God, I meant, once an individual starts following the commandments of God without feeling burdened or compelled by fear, instead because the individual feels a natural urge to please the Creator, finding happiness and contentment in doing so. This urge to please, through an individual's free will, is the love supreme I mentioned earlier. To love the One who created you so much so that you dedicate your life to pleasing Him." For a moment the old man stared at the space in front of him, making me assume that he had seen someone he knew but then he turned his face in my direction and continued. "Now there will be people around us who will claim that my argument strengthens their belief that religions only exist to enslave mankind and take over the world. They will argue that if to believe means self surrender to God which in turn means to do everything God wants us to do, which in turn means giving up the freedom mankind enjoys to do as it pleases, in order to please a God Whom they can't even see. Why should they give up their freedom just for the pleasure of God? My answer to all of them is simple, what part of God's commandments is contrary to what is morally or ethically right. By following His commandments you will not be forgoing your freedom but living a life of contentment" He quietly looked at me, indicating he had finished.
I could see that the old man knew he had piqued my interest in his theory and I knew that I had lost the debate that had started with a simple question of what believing in God meant. At the same time I also knew that there were more things the old man had to offer but wouldn't share if I didn't ask him and I felt that he would only answer if I asked the right questions. Deciding to press on I asked "How do you achieve this kind of love or for that matter how do you achieve this specific fear?"
"Love and fear, both emotions are an integral part of the human mind. Not a single human whom has ever lived or will ever live on this earth is devoid of those two emotions. But as far as loving and fearing God is concerned it's a different story. With God too, fear comes easily, as far as love is concerned it takes a lot of time and patience. Fear can come instinctively but love has to grow or blossom. I won't be far off the mark if I say that only through the fear of God will you come to love God, there are exceptions to everything but I am talking about the law of averages here. To be able to fear God, you should know what God has in store for those whom He forsakes. But that is not easy, as very few believers actually understand what the implications of being forsaken would mean in the afterlife. Once you understand and fully comprehend the meaning of afterlife, which no doubt is a difficult task in the present century, you will start fearing God. In order to move forward towards believing in God, you have to have an inclination towards God. God gives this inclination to those who seek it, to those who experience something akin to a modern day miracle, sometimes to those who face a great loss. It is inherent in those who have been brought up in a semi-religious or a religious household amongst others. To be fearful of God you first have to be inclined towards God. Now that is something which no one can do for you unless and until God wills it Himself. How you reach this inclination, is up to you but once your inclined towards God be prepared for a long journey. What I am saying might discourage many but it is the truth and there is no way around it. The funny thing is that man takes on life as it comes and is prepared to live it no matter how long and tiresome it may be but when it comes to God, man, doesn't have the will as it is too much work. Coming back to the topic at hand, in order to fear God you have to be inclined towards God, once you have reached the inclination, fear will set in, this is one fear which man can proudly claim to have. It is not a necessity to fear the afterlife, in fact, if one were only to fear doing wrong in this life, I believe, I believe it would be enough to guide one towards God. This can be achieved through channelizing fear."
The old man continued without pausing for me to question him "As far as loving God is concerned, as I mentioned love takes time. To love God one has to understand the creation of the whole universe, not in its minute details but as a wholesome creation by the greatest Creator of all. You don't have to be a scholar or a man of high educational merit to love God but you have to understand His creativity, His genius, His magnanimity. How do you understand all this and many more qualities of God? The answer is trying to understand His creation, the beauty of it. And the most beautiful part of this equation is that any individual, who strives for it, can achieve it. But as is the case with all things in life achieving this takes a lot of effort."
My next question had already been on the tip on my tongue, as soon as I realized that he was done I asked "You talked about channelizing my fear, what exactly did you mean and how do I do it?"
"Ah!" The old man exclaimed. "That is where the‘Nafs'comes. The topic of ‘Nafs' is in itself vast but as I have done throughout our short conversation, I will try to give you a condensed form of what I understand about it. I choose to use the word ‘Nafs', Arabic for ‘ego' or ‘self' another meaning given in Arabic is ‘the soul', due to the simple fact that I can find no parallel in English. Maybe I don't have the required learning of English or maybe English fails to provide a word of equivalent merit, whatever the case, we shall now concentrate on the word ‘Nafs' rather than deliberate on its counterparts in other languages. What we are concerned with currently is the ego or the self. Nafs incites us towards evil in its basic form, according to the ‘Sufi' school of thought in Islam. In other words, Nafs inclines us towards our evil urges, of whatever nature but surely contrary to what God expects from us. Hence it is imperative to harness Nafs, for man to be man and not an animal. If you look around you, the world we live in today, socially, morally and ethically has degraded itself to the level of animals. There are many things that I say to you today that many including you might not agree with but bear with me and you might be able to see things as I see them. Coming back to Nafs, so as I was saying Nafs in its basic form has to be harnessed or controlled. The first step towards this control is reflection with honesty. If you start reflecting on every action you take and decide, being completely honest to yourself, whether it was right or wrong. If you don't have the ability to be honest, at least to yourself you will always live the life of a delusional man, which would destroy you in this life, you can forget the hereafter. Hence, if you can honestly reflect on your actions and criticize your short comings, you would have reached the next stage of controlling your Nafs. This is the stage where the fear of God can be incorporated. If you have come to the realization that certain actions that you took or continuously take are wrong, you are already admitting that there is a right way of doing things. Now who laid down the foundations of what is right and what is wrong, if you have even a bit of sense you will immediately realize that it is God. So in order to avoid His displeasure and thus His wrath, you can start using fear as a productive emotion to control your Nafs. So as it is, fear is channelized to control one's deviant nature. I would like to add that in this way fear can lead towards the love of God but in the end it all depends on the individual. Nevertheless it is not an easy thing to do. It will require a lot of perseverance on behalf of the individual, you if you choose to do it."
"In other words there is no easy way to God. Even in fear, which you categorized in a roundabout way to be easier as compared to love, it will require perseverance hence implying that it will take time and patience. As far as love is concerned, it seems close to impossible for an individual of my calibre, to attain!" I exclaimed.
"Don't despair son, there is an easy way if you open yourself enough to be able to feel it, hear it, see it and imagine it." The old man replied with a smile. "What did you tell me when I asked you if you believed in God?"
"I defined the miracles of this world as a manifestation of God, which, as per your interpretation turned out to signify believing in the existence of God!" I replied, rather puzzled.
"All that you told me back then, if you reflect on it, what does it signify?"
"I am not sure what you mean?" I replied.
"Let me explain. You praised God, when you explained your point of view. It pleases God when He is praised. Furthermore, you remembered Him. You remembered Him in a way most suitable to remember Him by, by recounting as many of His creations as you could. Now if only you could continue doing that or something of similar nature, as much as you can. To be able to perceive the abilities of God is impossible, as nothing is impossible for God, hence it wouldn't be farfetched to assume that God can see right through your heart, He can see through your darkest or deepest thoughts without even trying. If you just understand this concept and continue praising Him and His creations, you will find Him close to you at all times. If we assume that you are conscious of the fact that God can see every action you take, you will start deliberating in your mind before taking any action to ensure its consequences. In other words you will be remembering Him, hence you will be conscious of Him all the time. No doubt you err here and there, now and then, but if you truly feel remorse and repent after every wrong action, you would be on your way to gain mastery over your Nafs. Only then will you be able to surrender yourself completely to Him. That is when you will believe in God."
For a moment, both of us sat in silence, I was pondering over the influx of ideas that he had sent me and he was just staring at the horizon. I noticed my watch, there was still time.
"There is something you missed out."
"And what might that be?" He asked.
"Self surrender. Earlier on you mentioned that you would get back to the term ‘self surrender'."
He smiled "Does a new born baby have a will?" He asked.
"Yes, I believe it does."
"Does it have any control over that will?"
"A baby cries when its hungry or in pain, that much I know for sure and probably smiles and coos when its full or happy. So I guess it does have control over its will."
"You are partially right. A new born baby can control certain emotions that it might have but other than that it is completely at the mercy of its parents. This is not the right way to put it in words but it is the easiest to comprehend. When a baby is born it surrenders its rights to its parents, that includes its will. All decisions about the baby are taken by the parents. The baby has no choice but to accept whatever its parents do for it. Normally parents love their babies and always have the best interests of their child when taking decisions. Parents are also humans and can make mistakes but their intentions are always pure. This is a form of forced unconditional self surrender which happens in nature. Whereas God is concerned, it is opposite. You have to give up your will rather yourself as a whole to God using your own free will. There are schools of thought in which this can only be achieved if the world is forgotten. This is not true. You can live the life of this world and yet give yourself up to your Creator. In fact you should lead a completely normal life if you are interested in pleasing God. Live life as any normal human you know. That includes having a job, getting married, if you are destined to be blessed with children, by all means have children, follow customs and traditions of your society and most importantly enjoy life as it comes. But to all of this add a small missing ingredient. Live life as God wants you to live it, with fairness and justice. Avoid all that you know and feel to be wrong. Look up to God for help. Do the best you can to achieve your dreams. But if you aren't able to realize your dreams, don't despair, instead be grateful for all that He has given you. Follow His commandments to your utmost ability. God is not human, He does not make mistakes, unlike you and me. If you surrender yourself to Him, He will surely do the best for you. If only mankind understood."
I smiled "I don't know what made you decide to have this conversation with me but I am glad you did. It was a pleasure to have a thought provoking conversation with you, old man" I told him with sincerity.
"I am glad you enjoyed listening to an old man like me. These are just thoughts of that I have as a random person. Son, I have a question for you, were my thoughts as alien as you expected them to be?"
"To be honest, they seem to be familiar but I am not sure. But I did find them surprisingly interesting."
"Like I said earlier, if you agree with what I said well and good, if you don't it's up to you! They just represent how I think not necessarily how everyone should think. After all there are countless ways to reach out to God." The old man plainly stated.
I nodded, agreeing with him. "If you don't mind, can we take a break? I would like to offer my prayers. I won't be long. We can continue from where we left, if you are up to it?" I asked.
"Take your time. I have all day. In fact, I was just thinking of having ice cream. I will get myself some ice cream while you pray. Would you like some?"
"Thank you for the generous offer but I will decide after praying."
"See you in a bit!"
