If you are here for stress reduction,
stop whatever else you are doing.
Switch off your phone and email.
Relax.And enjoy these few minutes.
Everything will be fine.
(from )
Really? Will everything be fine? Many people are experiencing stress and anxiety because, like Benjamin Braddock (played by Dustin Hoffman in the movie,The Graduate), they are “a little worried about the future.” In fact they’re a lot worried. What to do?
500 years ago, William Shakespeare knew. In Act 2, Scene 2 of his play,Hamlet, he had his character say, “There’s nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so. “
At least 1,000 years before that, a famous story from the Taoist tradition made the same point:
An old farmer had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away.
Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit.
"Such bad luck," they said sympathetically.
"We'll see," the farmer replied.
The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses.
"How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed.
"We'll see," replied the old man.
The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune.
"We'll see," answered the farmer.
The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.
"We'll see,” said the farmer.
The Taoist farmer reminds us that we create our stress and anxiety when we become attached to one interpretation, one way of viewing things and then look for evidence to confirm that our interpretation is “true.”
I was walking by a row of newspaper vending machines on August 6th, 2009 and saw the following headlines in side-by-side machines:
"Rates Of Owning Homes Is Plunging.” USA Today newspaper
“Housing Ready To Rally?” The Olympian newspaper, Olympia, Washington
Which of these stories is “true?” Both? Neither? It depends on what you believe.
The author, Tom Robbins notes that, “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood,” suggesting that our memories of what actually happened in the past may be less than accurate, but we live as though they are.
Consider the possibility that we do the same thing with the future. We don’t know what will happen, but we make up stories and then look for evidence to confirm the validity of the story we made up. After awhile, we forget we made up the story and behave as though the story were real.
So here’s the best relaxation technique for today:
- When you notice yourself stressed and worried about the future, use the wisdom of the ancients.
- Replace your worried thoughts with the words “This too shall pass,” often incorrectly attributed to the Bible.
- Keep repeating those words until, in fact, the worry has passed.
- Then use the same mantra on your next worry. Worries won’t be eliminated (we’re too good at making up stories for that to happen). But they will pass.
And have a great day…which, of course, is a story that will pass.
