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As we reach adulthood, most of us begin to lose the pure aliveness that is evident in the face of a healthy infant. The fascination and wonder that we may still dimly remember of early childhood, fades as we conform to the standards that we think the world expects of us. We learn to hide our feelings, first from others, and then from ourselves. We learn to hide our excitement and joy of simple pleasures. We’re bombarded with sensory overload and enticed by commercials and advertisements for things that promise to make us feel happy and fulfilled. And as we collect more and more, we need more and more. Soon we forget the simple innocence of life.

Even the simple act of being aware of the breath, is gone.

Anxiety takes over. We can no longer sit still. We don’t know what to do without some activity, some outward focus, or some drama to occupy our attention. If no other distractions are available, we numb ourselves with TV, or even with the newspaper. Why?

To avoid the unknown. We tell ourselves that we’re just avoiding boredom. But just beneath the surface of boredom is agitation, restlessness, sadness, emptiness, loneliness, fear -- and even joy. Maybe we read novels, or self-help books, and tell ourselves that we’re gaining wisdom, though we never seem to find the satisfaction we’re looking for.

We’ve lost touch with what is real and eternal inside us. What was once our perfect place of peace within ourselves, has now become a mystery. A Pandora’s box. We’re afraid now to open ourselves up and look within, for fear that what has been stuffed down will overwhelm us, even drive us crazy.

And so we do not linger in the awareness of the inner Self. We may peak in, but then comes a thought, a worry, an impulse to do something else. A chore that must be done, a temptation that must be indulged or new desire that must be fulfilled. And we’re off and running again.

At the end of the day, we say “I wish there were more hours in the day. I never have a moment’s peace.”

Or we resign ourselves to an empty life. Numbing our emotions. Dulling our minds with whatever distraction or drug is at hand. Self-medicating our malaise by any means available. Completely unaware that a whole undiscovered world lives within us. Happiness then is nothing more than a concept defined by whatever beliefs we hold about success or failure.

Whether we are pleasure seekers, or spend our time numbing our painful feelings, the loss is the same. The Essential Self is lost from sight.

Anyone can learn this simple mindfulness meditation technique....

Breathing

Let the breath be natural and gentle. Breathe through the nose, letting the belly rise as you inhale and fall as you exhale. Soften the belly. Let the chest rise last, filling up from the belly first, like a vessel filling with water.

The importance of attention to breath cannot be over-emphasized. It is the central key to any mindfulness meditation technique. So much suffering could be alleviated simply by placing mindful attention on the breath, focusing on the belly, or the area of the heart. Within the breath is the key to your greater Self. Emotion can reside in the body as chronic tension. The breath can undo this tension, and restore balance and peace to the mind. We forget the breath most of the time. Experiment throughout your day. See if you can count the number of times you remember to watch your breath. You may be surprised to realize how difficult it is to remember.

Non-Resistance

When we feel pain -- physically or emotionally -- we tend to react by tensing up. This tension causes the pain to be sustained longer. Sustained pain is what we call "suffering."

The practice of non-resistance is another core principle of mindfulness meditation. Letting go with each breath. Sometimes I see beginning meditators making effort to relax and let go. They breathe out with great force, through pursed lips, as if getting ready to lift a heavy weight. This is not true letting go. True letting go is effortless.

Why is it so difficult to remember the breath?

Because staying connected to the breath loosens the grip of the ego. The ego is the constellation of thoughts, emotions, and self-images that we cling to at all costs, in an effort to sustain our personal identity and importance. The breath leads us into an expanded state of Self-awareness that can feel like the death of what was known as "self." So we resist because of our attachment -- our fear of letting go -- fear of the unknown. It is a fear of becoming nothing. This fear is usually quite unconscious, yet it affects everthing we do and feel, keeping us imprisoned by the invisible chains of the mind. Of course, when the ego loosens it's grip and we experience a greater, more joyful, more expanive, free and contented Self - it's not nothing. The fear of becoming nothing is simply a trick of the ego, meant to keep us small.

Breathing mindfully decreases fear and leads to the realization of the true Self, which is inherently happy.


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