I don't have many fond memories of my childhood. My mother was and is a practicing alcoholic, while my stepfather was a practitioner of 5 out of the 6 known forms of child abuse. You see, growing up, I thought my stepfather was my real father. It wasn't until I was 16 years old that I found out differently. That's when everything started to make sense.
My memories of childhood start for me at age five. Standing on two of my mother's empty beer cases, I would wash, dry and put away the dishes. I was living the life of Cinderella. I had three step sisters none of whom had to lift a finger to do any chores in or around the house – that was my job.
I remember one bright, sunny Saturday morning getting up early and wanting to play outside. I grabbed my favorite toy which was a sock monkey. These were monkeys made from particular types of socks. Anyway, I grabbed monkey and out the door we went. No one else was up yet and the neighbor down the block had a brand new swing set!
Off I went me and my monkey, to test out this new swing set! I was having so much fun that I forgot about everything else and had an accident in my pants. When I went home to take care of this, my father (stepfather) was very angry and laid into me with his leather belt. As part of my punishment, my parents chained me naked to a support (jack) post in our basement where I was to spend the next three days. If I had to go the toilet I was to yell for my mother who would have me urinate in an empty can.
It would be this way in our house for a long time. No matter what I did, I couldn't please my father. I finally found out why I couldn't please him when I was sixteen – he wasn't my real father. All the beatings I took both physically and mentally now started to make sense.
In many ways, I summed up my relationship with our Father the same way. It seemed that no matter what I did, I was always coming up short believing that God had deserted me. It didn't occur to me at the time but I was always trying to please and win the approval of the wrong father!
This epiphany didn't occur to me until much later in life when I could truly understand and appreciate what God had been teaching me all along. My earthly father had no use for me what so ever – I was an abomination in his eye, a continual sore that reminded him daily that my mother was with another man and that my stepfather was supporting me.
My friends, how lucky I am that our God, full of love, mercy, and patience waited for me until I was ready for Him. I was made into rough clay and in the Potter's hand I was molded into a soldier for Christ Jesus and a witness to the miracles our Father provides us on a daily basis.
Looking back over the history of my life, I can see many, many examples of God directing my life and His forging me in the fire of faith and love. Everything evil, I learned from men and was no better than my stepfather in many ways.
Everything truthful, merciful, and godly, I learned from my one and true Father.
I spent many years wondering why I was born or where exactly I fit in. It never occurred to me that God had a purpose for me and that I was the only one He had chosen and created to perform these certain tasks according to His will.
Beloved, God has a plan for you and your life! If you truly seek Him and ask, it shall be given until you. God makes us many promises that are as good today as they were when they were first written. He does not lie nor does He promise something He has no intention of fulfilling.
All we need do is to put our trust and faith in Him and in His Son Christ Jesus. Time and time again throughout God's word we are reminded that when one has faith and trust there is no army in heaven or on earth that come against us and win!
Where are you with your walk with the Lord? It's an awesome thing to know that you can come before the Master and Creator of the entire universe and talk to Him like He was your best friend which He is! If God did not love you or wanted nothing to do with you, He wouldn't have created you in the first place! He most certainly wouldn't have sent His Only Begotten Son to die for us and thereby give eternal life to those who would believe upon Him.
Talk to your Father, trust in Christ's sacrifice. When God sends you His Holy Spirit as a helper to you for your journey with Jesus, you will feel mighty among men. Salvation is simple. Don't let this world with all its trappings cause you to stumble in your walk with Father. It's a powerful miracle to be released from the sin and evil in this world.
God patiently waits on those who seek Him. If you're unsure of your relationship with our Father and with His Son Jesus Christ, contact me. Together, we'll seek guidance from the Father to eliminate those things which are interfering with your walk with God.
