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For some women it’s easy getting over a lost love.  It’s like they grieve their ex for a couple of days, and then they hit the dating scene like nothing ever happened.  Their belief is that nothing can help you get over the last guy better than the next one. Most women however, can’t seem to get over their lost love and are sort of unwilling or unable to move on. They live everyday thinking what if? They mentally go through their past relationship thinking what they could have done differently.  They become obsessed and stuck in their past, endlessly replaying in their mind all the conversations. They believe that he’s the one and they try to do everything they can to bump into him and convince him that he made a mistake. They are scared that if they let him go, they will be giving up their only shot at being happy with the man of their dreams.

Not getting over to an ex, might really amount in throwing away true love, because holding on to him will mean making it impossible for new potential lovers to move in. So how do you get over an ex love or your ex boyfriend? Firstly, you should consciously decide to do so, and then be disciplined enough to make this a reality.  Second, start doing the spring clean! Throw away anything that reminds you of him; soft toys, photos etc. Third, write a list of the things he used to do, that you hated like leaving the toilet seat up, and if you are feeling like contacting him again, have a look at your list! You can’t afford to have nice thoughts about him, they will only hurt you. Next if a friend brings up his name in a conversation, it’s important that you change the subject. Avoid discussing him in any way.

Certain sounds, like music and smells like his cologne or a scented room candle that he liked, will bring him back in your mind and the least expected moments.  Your best way out in this case is to immerse yourself into what triggers these memories, until you exorcise them and they no longer remind you of him. Meet friends and be sociable; don’t lock yourself at home watching movies and eating comfort food. Instead take a yoga class, read a book and go for a jog in the park. If you make it a point to meet new people, you will also meet new men. When you do meet a guy that triggers your fantasy and has potential, make sure you give him a fair chance. Don’t compare him to your ex; it’s a mistake. You got over your ex so think ahead.

You can get over a lost love only if you want to. Nothing can force you and you have to consciously make this decision in your heart and mind. It might be a difficult job to do at first, but with time the pain will lessen and it gets easier. Once you rid your mind and heart of your past love, you can then move on to the love life you deserve.


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