The worst time to realize that you're still in love with your husband is after the two of you are divorced, yet this is exactly the situation many women find themselves in. Whether you are the one who initiated the divorce or your ex husband initiated it, there are things that you can do that may make getting back with your ex husband possible no matter how hopeless it can seem.
It's a sad but common situation, people often say or do the absolute wrong things when they are at the end of their relationship and the beginning of a divorce. This makes getting back together very difficult to do. If you've burned some bridges it will be harder to work things out but that doesn't mean it will be impossible, you just may have to work a littler harder and give it a little more time.
Here are some steps that can help you find the best way to reconcile with your ex:
1. First things first, make sure you are willing to invest the time needed. This process isn't going to happen overnight. If you're not willing to spend months, maybe more, to the process there is no point in even starting. There is most likely a lot of pent up anger, mistrust and frustration between the two of you and that isn't going to be cleared away overnight.
2. Own up to your shortcomings and be willing to make significant changes to the way you act. If you need extra help enlist the aid of a trained therapist. A therapist can help walk you through the process of identifying what issues that you have that may have contributed to the break up of the marriage, and more importantly, provide you with tools to change those traits so that you can do a better job in any relationship you may enter into.
3. If you and your ex have a chance at all of making things work out than you will both need to be able to move on and let go of all the hurts that you've shared. Hanging on to past anger and reliving every fight won't take you far in your reconciliation but it will make you relive all the misery you endured the first time around.
4. It's not about being right or wrong, that's a tough thing to let go of. Many couples will go round and round because they will fight practically to the death since they 'know' they are right. In many cases there is no right and no wrong, it's about the way you each feel about a certain situation. Be willing to let go of the concept that you're right and he's wrong, that is counter productive. Instead work at finding common ground.
Getting back with your ex husband is possible but the two of you have got to be on the same page and willing to put in the time to make things work. In most cases this will mean that each of you will have to do some major soul searching and be willing to make dramatic changes in the person you are as well as the way you communicate.
