Have you suddenly been thrust onto the singles scrap heap? Does becoming part of the singles and dating scene again seem out of your comfort zone? What are some ways for singles to over come loss after being dependent on another person for support and comfort for many years, then suddenly losing this comfort zone. Some people find initial comfort and self confidence in dating again. However going to singles bars is often too daunting after being out of practice for so long, as self confidence is often at an all time low after a break up.
Online dating sites can often provide some comfort. Online dating is a softly softly way to just test the waters and have a little look-see without having to actually interact. Chat rooms are usually an add on feature with most online dating sites, so try to chat with someone online just for a bit of harmless fun. Singles chat rooms can also be a cautious way to re-enter the singles and dating scene.
On the flip side, the thought of dating again so soon after a break up can be the last thing that comes to mind. Solitude and being surrounded by close friends and family for many is the best way forward.
An initial feeling of total numbness can often describe loss, hurt and emptiness. The thought of how to best try and overcome this helplessness may also add weight to your loneliness.
A diary is an excellent way to gather your thoughts and feelings. Keeping notes and tracking your day to day healing, ups and downs and your slow but steady recovery is a comforting way to getting yourself back on track.
Note your personal thoughts twice a week as a routine. Aim to keep this going for three to six months. The main aim of this exercise is so you can compare your thoughts and feelings on a month to month basis.
If you are seeking professional help, take your diary along and share your notes with your counselor, so you can easily and openly have discussions about your diary entries.
Low self confidence is a common issue singles face after a break up or divorce. Another useful technique to overcome loss it right down the qualities you have on offer. Righting down good points about yourself is a common practice suggested by family counselors to overcome low self confidence.
Putting pen to paper can have a very refreshing effect, you are literally righting your way back into society, and you have all the control in filling in the emptiness that has occurred.
Importantly, when righting down your thoughts and comments, be very honest about your entries. Nobody will see what your thoughts are, so no one will be around to judge your thoughts. Its all about you.
One day you will look back after moving on from your break up. Keep your diary notes and read them back to yourself and compare those same thoughts to your current life's journey
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