Can you get your ex back if you've been cheating? Many people think an affair should be the end of the relationship. There's no going back after being cheated on, right? I disagree with this. Every relationship can be restored if you both really want it. This small article is about restoring trust after an affair.
Restoring trust after an affair needs a change in your actions and attitude. Even after a partner cheats, it is possible to save a relationship. This must start with increasing the level of trust between you both. If you have cheated, then you have had an attitude that allowed you to cheat. There may be disease at the relationships centre. But this disease can be healed.
Do you know what it was you were looking for when you cheated? Were you dissatisfied with your sex life? Was your ex always too busy for you? Were they letting their personal grooming slip? If your relationship was solid you wouldn't have cheated in the first place. So what do you need to do to heal this? Many times that can lie in self analysis. More than likely it lies in the relationship itself.
Restoring trust after an affair means repairing the underlying problems. Occasionally it means going to see a counsellor, and this can very helpful if you are both open to the idea. Understanding our thoughts isn't enough though. The thing is to take firm action in fixing the problems. The key to restoring trust after an affair lies in doing the right things, not just talking about them.
It's very important to make small promises and to keep those promises. If you say you will take the trash out, make sure you do it. And do it every time you say you will. If you can show you can be trusted in these small tasks then a gradual build up of confidence in the relationship will happen.
Your partner is going to need constant assurances that you have indeed changed for the better. This means apologizing more than once over time. Maybe even many times. You also need to accept there may be constant comments about the breach of trust. It's not easy for someone to get over a violation like that. If you want to make it work, you will be patient with them.
This doesn't mean a life of guilty feelings about cheating. If you let them constantly send you on a guilt trip your partner may end up being unsatisfied with the relationship you are trying to build. Try to be understanding.
Lastly, try to put a positive spin on things. This is not easy but you can treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as people, and to grow the relationship. I know from experience that restoring trust after an affair is possible. Also a stronger relationship can be formed.
