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So your ex broke up with you... then began dating someone else before you had the chance to patch things up. It happens to everyone at one time or another, so the first thing to realize is that you're not alone. Instead of being discouraged, one good thing about the whole situation is that she's probably on the rebound. If she moved on before fully getting over you, it might be easier to get her back than you think. To get back together with your ex, you'll need to get her to want you again. The process of winning her from someone else takes a lot of patience, but if you're in it for the long haul there are some definite moves that will put her back into your arms.
So how do you get your ex back when she's with another man? You concentrate on the following things, in the following order:
Let Her New Relationship Happen- The first step is also the one most guys get stuck on: don't resist the rebound. When your ex first starts dating a new guy, everything in her life will be completely awesome. There's absolutely nothing you can do, and certainly nothing you can say to convince her otherwise: she's not going to leave her new boyfriend during the honeymoon stages of her new relationship.
In actuality, the more you try to resist her new relationship the tougher it will be to get her back. You can't fight against something you can't beat. As hard as it may be, you've got to man up and take it. Wait it out, bide your time, and know that sometime in the future she's going to dump this guy and get back together with you. You'll just have to give her new relationship a cooling off period.
Accept Your Breakup... And Her New Boyfriend- When your girlfriend begins dating again, she's going to watch you carefully for a reaction. She'll expect jealousy, and she'll expect you to try and talk her out of seeing this new guy. How you take this news is actually one of the most important aspects of winning her back. Fighting her new relationship will do a lot of damage to your chances of dating her again, and she'll feel vindicated if you're unhappy that she's moved on.
Instead, smile and wish your exgirlfriend the best. By showing no jealousy, your ex is going to be amazed. She's expecting to see you upset and bitter, because she wants to think that losing her should have a negative impact on you. She'll also expect you to talk her out of dating anyone else. By doing none of these things, you've totally confused her. You're reacting exactly the opposite of what she thought you would - she was prepared for a fight and got no resistance. Turning your ex around is easy: you do the reverse of whatever she's expecting.
Don't Say a Single Bad Thing About Her New Man- Tough, but doable. This guy could be the worst piece of scum on the Earth, but even so, there's no way you should utter a single bad word about him. Your next move involves establishing trust and friendship with your exgirlfriend again, and there's no way you can do that if you're bashing her new boyfriend. You want her to trust and confide in you, which won't happen if you're constantly urging her to drop him. You don't have to sing his praises, but you do have to stay neutral. Let her talk about him, bad or good. By being her sounding board, she'll start to feel comfortable talking around you about anything and everything.
Establish Trust, Then Take a Step Back- Once you and your ex begin communicating again, you'll be privy to a lot of juicy information. Store it away for later on; you'll need it during the phase where you can transition from friendship back to romance. For now, get her to trust you and then take a few steps back. By slowly removing yourself from her life again, she'll start wondering where you're going. Just as she's beginning to depend on you again (this time at a friendship level) you're launching a life of your own - one without her in it. This will panic her a bit, because she was just getting used to having you around.
This is the point at which your ex has to face losing you, maybe even for good. Up until now she hasn't had to consider this: she's had the best of both worlds. But now, you're slipping away... and she's left alone with her new boyfriend, in a relationship that the glow has finally worn off of. Your goal here should be making her choose between keeping you in her life or staying together with her new boyfriend. Who's the safer and more comfortable choice? That all depends on how well you did, up until this point. But one big thing you've got going for you? Your long history together. Use it to your advantage... it's something you've got that the other guy doesn't.
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