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I lived in Los Angeles during the big 6.7 magnitude Northridge earthquake of 1994. Waking up to my bed being lifted and shaken was one of the scariest experiences of my life. It was as if a giant had picked me up and dropped me again.

After quickly dressing and getting out of the apartment, checking in with neighbors and notifying children of our safety, my husband and I decided to take a long walk around the area to see what damage had occurred.

We were amazed to find everyone we walked by smiling and exchanging greetings and warm words with us.

This was L.A. No one ever looks at you as you walk by (unless you're a beautiful young person.) No one ever smiles. Only street people asking for a handout ever talk to you.

But the gift we received was connecting to these L.A. strangers' humanity. Under their fear and apprehension, everyone we met felt as we did – grateful to be alive and wanting to connect. Before this earthshaking event I always thought of Los Angeles as a pretty unfriendly place.

Now when I see people I don't know no matter where I am, I remind myself who's really inside the strangers I see. We don't have to wait until earthquakes and 9/11 tragedies to have gratitude towards our loving, smiling neighbors.

Maia Berens helps women overcome their blocks to their own growth. Her self-coaching, group and private coaching, provide women with the safety and inspiration to change their lives. For more articles, information, and a totally free year of personal growth assignments, visit and make sure you click on the Ask a Coach Community button.


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