Hitting Rock Bottom

Hitting Rock Bottom!
an edited extract from 'Understanding Addiction'

There is a point where a person emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and finally, physically breaks down under the stress and pain produced by their addiction.

The end-point of the addictive process is when the addict 'Hits Rock Bottom'. This stage of the cycle is also often referred to as the 'Life Breakdown Stage', because here the addicted person’s life will literally start to break apart under the pressure caused by the ever-increasing pain, anger, and fear that results from continuously acting out their addiction. There is a point where a person emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and finally, physically breaks down under the stress and pain produced by the addiction.

By this stage, acting out no longer produces much pleasure. Preoccupation and acting out still produce a mood change, but by now there is too much pain to escape from. Although the addicted person feels more distance from pain while acting out, the pain’s presence is now almost always still there.

The magical aspects of addiction - the intoxication, the high - begin to evaporate under the stress because the person is living on emotional overload. Acting out can start to feel more boring and ritualized. Many recovering addicts report that at this stage their mental preoccupation with acting out and consequently dwelling in a fantasy world, produced as much or more pleasure and relief as actually acting out their addiction did.

By this stage addicts will often start behaving in ways they never thought possible. Their behavior is so extreme that it scares the addict. In this stage the dangerous life-threatening aspects of the addictive process become obvious too, not only to the addict, but also to family and friends. At this stage, the addict is totally committed to the addictive process and will not be able to break the cycle without some form of intervention.

At this stage, addictive logic can also start to break down. The addict’s behavior often doesn’t even make sense to him or her anymore, so the addict gives up trying to make sense of it and falls into a lifestyle based entirely on addictive ritual. Thus, addicts cling to a very rigid lifestyle and feel discomfort with anything unfamiliar.

Addiction is a very focused lifestyle and rigidity adds a level of comfort to the addict’s life. There is a peace and security found in familiar rituals and objects, especially in times of stress. The addict may hate acting out, but finds security in it. It is something the addict is an expert at. Thus, in times of stress, he or she may quickly retreat to acting out their addiction.

New situations become nightmares for the addict. Life is totally controlled by the addictive belief system. Addictive logic becomes very simple at this stage: "get high and exist." At this stage, an addict will only deal with people and ideas that add to the addictive lifestyle; anything else is allowed to float by.

Resolving emotional issues works against the addictive process, which thrives on unresolved issues and the stress they produce. Unresolved feelings and issues are seen as excuses to act out at any time. The addicted person becomes an emotional pressure cooker whose safety valve is not functioning properly. Soon, something has to give.

By this stage of the disease, the addict has so many unresolved feelings that he or she reaches a point of great emotional weakness. Existing coping skills do not provide enough safety to deal with the pressures that are being created. Emotionally, the person starts to break down.

At this point the addicted person may cry uncontrollably for the slightest reason. One recovering addict said that, in this stage, that she had cried uncontrollably whenever she saw a sunrise. She later realized that this was because she dreaded the thought of having to spend one more day living the life as an addict.

At this point in the addictive process, people also may go into fits of rage for no apparent reason. Their anger has piled up and has been compacted to the point at which it isn't anger anymore, but rage.

Paranoia results as the addict starts to question everyone and everything. “Why?” becomes a torturous question that’s constantly asked internally. This can transform into free-floating anxiety, which strikes late-stage addicts and can last anywhere from a few moments to days. Those who experience this anxiety feel that the whole world has turned against them and that no one cares about or even likes them anymore. This aspect of the addictive illness can be devastating for the addict and for all those around the addict.

By now too, the fact that an addict’s primary emotional attachment is with an object or event, and not with people, has taken its toll. Many addicts start to feel less secure about interacting with people, even on a social level. People with addictions often start to question their ability to be around others. They start to feel as if people can see right through them.

Many of those around the addict recognize the addict’s style of manipulation and react less to it or get fed up with it and withdraw. They often have much of their own pain from interacting with the addict and make an emotional decision not to believe in the person anymore. In order to protect their feelings, they refuse to see the addict as a person anymore. For them, their friend or loved one is dead.

The addict thus reaches a terrible state of total isolation and hopelessness. They have 'hit rock bottom'. In some cases this will lead to suicide. For many others though, it becomes the turning point that leads to a new beginning.

Whether or not the addict survives hitting rock bottom, it is normally only those who hit rock bottom that ever make it through the addictive process to recovery! It is the necessary, though not sufficient, prerequisite to new life.