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If you are wondering “how do men react after a breakup?” the answer for most men is not much different than before. You would think that the average man is dealing well with the breakup and going through the stages of grief that often accompany breakups. The problem is that many men seem to get stuck at stage one and never move beyond it. What is stage one? Glad you asked. Deny, deny, deny. Denial is often the first stage in grief. It is a necessary part of the process. The problem is that this is supposed to be a fairly short lived stage. You are supposed to work through this stage and move on to the other stages of grief (anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). You are certainly not supposed to make yourself comfortable and settle in for the long haul with denial. Now, when it comes to “how do men react after a breakup?” this particular type of denial may not be what you’re expecting. They don’t necessarily deny that the breakup happened. They simply deny everything that comes next. They deny the impact it has on their lives. They deny the fact that they are hurt, angry, lonely, and feel as though their sense of control has been lost. For many men it’s the loss of control that is the most difficult to overcome. It damages their sense of harmony with the universe. Control has been taken away because the decision was taken out of their hands. While it isn’t as petty asI’m denying the breakup because she broke up with meyou have to understand that most men feel it is their role in the relationship to be the take charge person and when a woman ends the relationship she has usurped his position in the relationship. More importantly, men have been conditioned throughout the ages to be the provider, hunter, take charge person in relationships. In one fell swoop their position has been taken right along with the relationship. The typical reaction is almost universal. Denial. This protects his ego, his psyche, and his position in the pack hierarchy for male dominance. If he denies, mentally, that he’s been dumped, he can maintain his position and continue on. The problem is that he isn’t moving on. He gets stuck. So, if you have a man in your life that is a friend, brother, former lover, or would be future lover you need to boost him beyond this point, preferably without sending him into the self destruct stage that some other men go through once the denial is over with.
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