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As children get older, more commonly the weight of control shifts away from parents. Discipline becomes more about discussing and negotiating acceptable behaviours and less about telling them what to do. Allowing teenagers to have input into the family rules, boundaries and consequences means they are more likely to comply with those standards and less likely to rebel. Choose the right time and place when discussing behavioural issues with your teenager. If you or your child are angry, then wait for that anger to subside before you discuss issues that are of concern to you. Make sure the discussion takes place in a private space away from prying eyes and ears. Focus your language on what you would prefer the child to be doing rather than on what they are doing wrong. We are more likely to respond to constructive criticism as opposed to negative feedback so concentrate on how the child can improve their behaviour rather than on why their behaviour is so unacceptable. When appropriate, allow your son or daughter to experience the consequences of their bad behaviour. If you are constantly saving them from themselves then they will never learn from their mistakes. Having bad experiences once in a while will teach them to take more responsibility for their actions. Reach an agreement with your child about issues of discipline. Children are more likely to keep their rooms tidy, for example, if clear expectations and punishments have been agreed to previously. Most importantly, be consistent and follow through. If you fail to deliver when it comes to disciplining your children you will lose respect from them and it will be difficult to regain. Tough love is a valuable resource - use it.
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