The worst thing that a wife can be faced with is the fact that her husband is having, or had, an affair. She wonders how, in the world, she can ever get past this betrayal. She wants to know how she can trust her husband again, and how she can stop running that movie she's got, of her husband and the other woman, in her head. While it will take a lot of work, it is possible to get over a husband cheating.
To get over this kind of betrayal, the first thing that a woman needs to know is that she's being heard and understood. She needs to have her fears and feelings validated. In addition, she needs to hear her husband. All too often, couples dealing with the aftermath of an affair get caught in the vicious cycle of "my husband acts like it's my fault he had an affair" and "I feel horrible that I cheated on my wife, but I don't know how to fix things". While very natural and very normal, this isn't going to do anyone any good.
As a wife, be sure that your husband takes responsibility for his affair. It doesn't matter what he felt you had done to him: ignored him, nagged him, whatever. Ultimately, he chose to have the affair, and that responsibility lies squarely on his shoulders. However, as a wife you do need to take part in healing what was broken in the marriage before the affair, because let's face it; if the marriage was healthy, he probably wouldn't have cheated.
Speak up, and let your husband know exactly what you need from him in order to begin rebuilding trust. If you need him to always carry his phone, so you can check in with him at any time - tell him. Do you need him to stop working late at the office? Let him know, and let him know that it's OK to bring work home instead. Let him know that you don't need space, you need extra attention from him - if this is indeed the case. This isn't about punishing someone; it's about having your needs met so that you can begin to trust again. Express your needs in positive terms, but express them clearly.
Don't be afraid to spend some time working on yourself, either. A husband's affair can deliver a devastating blow to a wife's self-esteem. She begins to wonder why she wasn't "enough". Take a class you've been wanting to take, spend some time at the gym; do what you need to do to feel good about yourself again.
Finally, don't try to make your marriage as it was; instead, focus on making it better . Affair-proofing a marriage is about making sure that the bonds between you and your husband are strong, and that you're both getting your needs met within the marriage relationship.
It is possible to get over a husband cheating; however, it takes work on the part of both husband and wife. Be open and honest, and your marriage can not only survive, it can thrive!
