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I grew up in a family that wore their negativity like a proud shield. I remember my beloved grandmother and her friends almost boosting about how bad life was as if it was a contest, who had the most aches and pains or the worst finances or problems with their children. They didn’t realize they were negative and they certainly didn’t realize the effect this negativity had on their life. This is the way it was and it was handed down from generation to generation. My older sister and I would sit in church every Sunday making fun of people (we may have looked angelic, but we weren’t!). For us it was a good time to poke fun at the ladies beehives and people’s outfits until my parents separated us in the pew. What we didn’t realize is that we were honing our critical skills, and negative thoughts. Then there are the people that make conversation by criticizing (we all know some). You could give them a million dollars and they’d still find something to complain about. They look at everything with a “what can I find wrong with this situation” attitude. They truly don’t know how to be happy, so they do everything they can to stay in the comfortable place they know so well, being unhappy.
Once I moved away from my family and started interacting with people from different cultures and attitudes, I started having my negativity pointed out by others (ME, negative? But I’m just making conversation!) I realized how dominant a role this negativity played in my life. It was so ingrained it took awhile to see it in myself, but once I did, that was the first step.
The first step is to become aware of your negative thoughts. This has to be done everyday, all day. Then switch the negative thoughts to a resourceful/good thought. Like any behavior, the more good thoughts we think, the quicker good thoughts will become our predominant way of thinking. You don’t want to focus on your negative thoughts because as you know if you’ve been reading these newsletters for awhile, what you focus on expands. Instead you can stop the negative thoughts by thinking good thoughts. If you find your self thinking negative ask yourself how you can switch those thoughts around to resourceful/good thoughts. We are so concerned with what we wear, what we eat, where we live etc. I’m suggesting we be more concerned with what we think. This is more important than anything else. Easy ways to think good thoughts are being grateful, giving thanks, focusing on what IS working in your life, appreciation for people, places, and things. Saying “thank you” and giving sincere compliments are also good thoughts.
The more good thoughts you have, the more you will attract things to feel good about, and that’s what we all want…to feel good! When you switch the negative thoughts for positive ones your life will change dramatically for the better. Mine sure has!
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