So the relationship is over but now you have decided that you want your ex back. Are your sure it is your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you are missing and not just having someone special in your life? This is especially important if you were the one who decided to break up.
Most relationships go through a bad patch at some point. Some of the best marriages have survived problems that would have torn apart less sturdy partnerships. Relationships are all about give and take. That doesn't mean that one person gives and the other takes! Men and women are very different and we need to learn to live with one another.
Deciding you want to share your life with someone is a big commitment. The sexual attraction between a couple, especially in the early stages, can often cloud their judgment and it is surprising how many people enter into long term relationships without having agreed the basics. Little things like where you want to live and whether you want to have children are often forgotten in the excitement of being together.
Men and women fall out for all sorts of reasons. At times of financial and family stress, we often pick on those nearest to us. When you care for another person and know them intimately you have the power to really hurt that person. If we ourselves are hurting, we often turn that hurt and anger onto the other person.
It is important to understand why you broke up in the first place. If you ended the relationship because one of you wanted children and the other didn't, then you will find that this probably hasn't changed. You may get back together but in the long run will split up again if this issue is not resolved. Forcing someone into a huge life commitment like having a child against their will does not usually result in a long term happy relationship. If you have very different viewpoints on these life issues, you should stay apart and find someone more compatible to fall in love with.
If, on the other hand, you split up because of jealousy or some other petty incident then your relationship may be worth saving. If you really miss your previous partner and know that you want to share your life with them, then you must do everything in your power to make your ex want you back .
Contact your partner and let him/her know that you would like to meet up to discuss the future. Do not get involved in a dissection of what went wrong before. It is too easy to put the blame on the other person. Instead agree that there were problems but that you would like to rekindle the relationship. If you haven't managed to make your ex want you back and your relationship was serious then you might want to suggest counselling. It is often helpful to have an impartial person listen to your discussions. You are less likely to lose your temper, storm out and find yourself suddenly single again.
