To figure out how to save the marriage struggling with pornography is not much different than rescuing a marriage battling against problems such as; substance abuse, infidelity, physical abuse, neglect, selfishness, lack of communication or intimacy. Either of these can get progressively worse as time goes by and destroy a marriage.
However, pornography is viewed by some as a problem in a category by itself. Although both men and women have issues with pornography the perception is that it's a problem mostly for men.
So how do you save a marriage that is dealing with pornography? You handle it the same way as any other problem that can destroy your marriage. Simple right?
Well, it's a bit more complicated because pornography can easily become addictive and for some is difficult to quit because it's so easy to get sucked back in, even when trying to give it up.
Now, if other folks have been able to free themselves from all kinds of addictions then it's very possible for a spouse struggling with pornography to give it up for the sake of their marriage.
You will find spouses making the same excuses for doing it as a person hooked on a substance like; "It makes me happy"; "I'm not addicted and can stop anytime I want"; "It's how I deal with the stresses in my life".
I have known drug and gambling addicts give up their addictions overnight and smokers quit pretty much on the spot as well as folks addicted to porn. So I know it can be done so it's not a matter of can a marriage be saved but is there a will to save the marriage struggling with pornography.
Here are some tips to help figure outhow to save the marriage
Don't Give Up
It can be very frustrating when dealing with such a delicate matter but you must persevere and save your marriage and your spouse. You see, as I mentioned before pornography can easily lead to destroying your marriage and family. It gets progressively worse over time and in many instances, if not controlled, can advance to some type of affair (emotional or physical).
It's critical that your spouse knows how important this issue is to you and your marriage and that you will continue working on this problem until it's resolved. Your spouse will probably not even acknowledge there is a problem but if it's affecting your marriage and your happiness then make him or her understand that it's a problem that has to be resolved.
Don't Give In
There may be a number of reasons that your spouse will give for needing to continue viewing pornography like; "It makes me a better partner for you" or "I'm always looking for creative ways for us to be more fulfilled".
Although your spouse may be saying these things I find it hard to believe he or she really feels this way. It's another way of saying "leave me alone". Don't give in.
Your spouse may also try to blame you for not meeting all their needs or putting to much stress on the marriage.
If your spouse is blaming you for their addiction then try to get out of him/her what it would take for them to give up the addiction. Please be warned that the answer might be outrageous or something impossible for you to do.
Don't give in because it's probably just another way of saying "I don't want to give up my addiction".
Finally I would suggest you get some help in dealing with not only this issue but other underlying problems that may need to be dealt with.
You can get a free email course regarding Marriage Fitness which includes 7 secrets to fixing your marriage here; How To Save The Marriage
