Earning your relationship back can be a process. It is rarely a good idea to rush completely back into a relationship right away, and since it may take a while to make the necessary chances to your own life that are needed to win back her love, it can take days, weeks, or months before you are ready to win back your ex girlfriend and start a relationship that will stay strong.
But time has a tendency to hurt your chances at winning back your ex girlfriend as well. Time will allow your ex to move on herself, and you run the risk of losing the affection she had for you, as well as moving on to someone else either as a rebound or new relationship.
If you are worried that your ex girlfriend is going to move on from your relationship before you have a chance to win her back, there is something you can do to make sure that door is kept open.
Tell Her Your Plan in a Letter to Your Ex Girlfriend
In general, it is a good idea to not have a lot of contact with your ex girlfriend right after the breakup, and it can even be dangerous to your chances of reconciling if you talk to her too often before you are ready to get back together. But there is one thing you can do that will not harm your chances (and may even help them).
Choose a method of contact that is brief and non-aggressive. You want to make sure that you will not be sucked into a long conversation, as you are not trying to reconcile at that moment, but rather you are trying to make sure that the door to reconciling doesn’t close. As a result, you may not want to ask your ex girlfriend to dinner, where talking can be drawn out. Instead, you can use something like:
- Meeting at a coffee shop before work.
- Email (less ideal, but easy to keep the conversation brief).
- Phone (if you are good at talking on the phone).
- Handwritten letter (this can be very useful, because it appears more personal).
Once you have contacted her, it is time to lay out your plan. Keep it brief and to the point, do not talk about what is your fault and what isn’t, do not make excuses, and do not worry about specifics. You want the letter to your ex girlfriend to strike an emotional chord inside of her. Simply say something like:
“Dear You,
It is my goal to be back with you someday. I have been, am, and will be continuing to work on myself in order to become the man that is right for you, and I am committed to do whatever it takes as long as it takes to win back your love again.”
Once you have said what you need to say, that is the end of the conversation. If you have written this in a letter or email, it is ready to send, and if you are on the phone or saying it to her in person, you can end with “I just wanted you to know that” and change the subject. You are not asking to talk about it now. You are simply notifying her that she should keep the door open, because someday you will be walking through it as a newer, better person.
