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One of my friends asked me last month, why are you so silent, you don't talk much, don't pass your time with others? And this question diverted my mind to the horizon between when I used to talk a lot and now. If I compare myself to the old me and new me there is a lot difference and that I don't need to tell.Coll. Life not only taught me about my subjects but many different things and the most important is to give time to myself for some hours in a day. It may be not acceptable or many may not agree to this but I need it. I would like to tell that when I am silent I am not.Actually the thing is when I was in first year I used to speak a lot and half of that was crap and I said that just to make others smile, maybe those were pjs… but I just said that for others. No one understood that part of me and started looking at me as an immature guy who is never serious and I felt as if I am no one because no one paid attention anymore to whatever I say. In between when I used to be serious and said something serious it went unnoticed.What is the use of speaking then if no one is caring, everyone is listening with a hollow pipe connecting their ears, to let it pass? So all this made me to think a lot, and didn't say anyone about this as no will hear this too.And now when I am silent, I am with myself, the same people, my friends are saying you have changed. But how can I explain them that it is because of them. I didn't want to be like this. I was cheerful just like my name.Now also if I meet any outsider, I don't know why but a smile comes on my and that persons face. Just last week I was in an industry and one sir said me that you are always smiling. But I feel different from within, I am not as cheerful as I used to be, people close to me know it.It is not that I didn't try to change that, I tried every type of talk with my friends but whatever I used to say was indirectly or directly related to tease me. It is ok to tease for sometime but for everything u say? And I didn't explain it to anyone coz if they are not understanding those things, will definitely not understand this. And now I am silent outside but inside talk a lot about whatever is happening nearby, I am silent to understand world better, make things good for me and comfortable for living, to help myself from depression as self talk is a part of being silent.Hence I thank my friends to change me and made me what I am not but I am liked it.
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