Taking care of an elderly person in their own home often seems like the first and best option for families. Most seniors want more than anything to stay at home, and their families want to see them remain independent as long as possible.
Asking an elderly person to make the best long term plans and choose the "best" options doesn't always work, however. An elderly person who wants desperately to stay at home will often deny problems and safety hazards that are glaringly obvious to everyone else. So, adult children and other family members are the ones who may have to ultimately make some of these decisions.
Caregiving spouses and adult children have often made promises to do whatever is necessary to keep an aging person at home. Often they have made this committment when the older person was still living an active and independent life. When the disabilities of aging begin to crop up, these famiy members feel guilty even thinking about alternatives to care at home.
Very few family members can leave jobs and their own family responsibilities to manage a senior's care at home full time. With the passage of time, family caregivers often find that they are stretched beyond the breaking point by the needs of their elderly family member. Sooner or later, almost everyone will have to turn to outside help to make home care possible.
The trick to making aging at home successful is to anticipate changes before they happen, and to ask the important "what if" questions early.
If a senior is both able to afford and willing to accept non-family care, then staying at home can be a very successful option. If home care is not affordable, or if your senior will not willingly accept help from someone other than family, then remaining at home will probably not be a good choice for long term elder care.
Ideally, seniors and family members will talk frankly about both the financial and the personal facts openly and honestly long before the need is obvious. If a senior is firm that no outsider will ever be accepted into his or her home, it's better to know early that getting professional home care assistance will be a fight.
Unfortunately, many families aren't able to talk frankly about these issues. If your elderly relative refuses to talk about those future "what ifs," this may be your clue that home care may be difficult when it's most needed. An assisted living residence might actually be more acceptable to this senior than having someone "invade" their home.
If home care would be acceptable, but the available funds won't stretch to cover the cost of private elderly care at home, starting early will permit everyone to look at and talk frankly about less expensive alternatives before a crisis occurs.
