Have you ever stop to notice how much we change during our lives ???
It is intriguing, sometimes unbelievable, even astonishing the way we and our feelings and believes go over different stages in the paths of our lives.
We are born, go to school, and enter puberty. This last is one of the most beautiful and joyful stages, when we enter the period of live in which one passes from childhood to maturity.- Many “DO” reach maturity, for others it takes much longer, and there are many that never mature at all. These are the ones who will remain immature for the rest of their lives.
In this stage of childhood to maturity, also known as “Teen-Ager” stage, we start noticing changes that seemed impossible to believe before. Boys and girls start noticing sexual attraction for the opposite sex, thinking that a few years ago they used to hate boys and boys hated girls.- It never crossed our minds that we would allow A “Kiss”, and yet NOW, - this all we think about.
We also start forming our own opinions, want independency, privacy and ask our parents to “leave us alone”. - So different from the time when we were children and our parents were our whole world.-
For many parents,- these transitions are so very difficult to understand.- “What happened to my little girl or my little boy, who always wanted to be by my side, and waited for us with open arms when we arrived home, or picked them up from the nursery or primary school ??? What happened to our babies, who always wanted us to hold them in our arms ????.-
There are a lot of factors that take place in our children’s attitude, and that we must accept and try to understand, especially during this stage of puberty.
You can not fight them, so you might as well JOIN THEM.--You must accept this is part of life. The only thing we can do is try to understand that they are no longer “babies” or “children”, they have become “adults”,- and we must treat them as adults.-
We must try to be their friends, and get them to confide in us.- We must be able to to gain their confidence, and give them the good advices they so desperately need, and that they can only get from the persons who love them most in life,-- their own parents.
The only way to be able to reach out and be able to discuss things with a “Teen-Ager”, is by talking to them in their own terms,-- NOT preaching.- Talking to them as a friend, not as a parent.- You, as a parent, must become a "Teen-Ager” too, put yourselves in their places, - and listen to them,- really listen,- before forming opinions and making a big deal about something.-
You must try to let them know, that if they have a problem,-no matter how serious or intimate it might be, you will always be there to help them.- not to punish or accuse them.- This is the only way you will be able to gain their trust and help them in every single situation. They will come to you for advice, and you will be able to give it to them.- Trust me, as a mother of 3 Teen- Agers, I should know what I am writing about.-
Remember that very soon, they will become parents themselves, and the circle of life will repeat itself.
The future of our grandchildren, will depend a great deal, -on how we teached and treated our own children.- The advices and the way we influenced their lives, will have a great impact on they way they will raise their own children.-
The examples they experienced with their parents, will determine how they will lead their lives, and the lives of our future generations.
This has been proven over and over again.- Many children that come from broken homes, that have been abandoned by their parents, that have never experienced the warmth and love of a loving family, and no one to guide them,-most of the times,- become criminals and a danger to society.
They are our own flesh and blood, they never asked to be born, we brought them into this world,-- therefore it is our responsibility to guide them and love them until the day we die.- The future of this world depends on this.-
Eva de la Torriente Diaz
August 30, 2008
