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My father-in-law lived to age 100 years, 6 months and 3 days. In his final years he was a confined to his home with live-in nurses to oversee medication, food preparation and to keep him from wandering off. He was a pistol, an ornery man very annoyed that he couldn’t still live the lifestyle he was used to. And he made everyone aware of the way he felt. He was becoming very frail and couldn’t be active in the community any more. The Burden It was a great burden to his children to take those car keys away, to hear his snare and mean words as he lashed out before live-in care givers were hired. But the burden of that decision faded and gave way to the painful experiences of him forgetting who his children were while talking with them on the phone. This is the part that really was hurtful for my husband, Jim. Even though we read through all the educational pamphlets ondementiaand know that anything said by Dad shouldn’t be taken personally, it still stung – sometimes deeply—when my husband, Jim, would call to talk with his Dad. It got so that Jim didn’t call as frequently and then barely as it got more painful and the conversations became more difficult. The first few moments of each conversation Jim would have to spend time describing to his Dad who he was and for his Dad to acknowledge Jim as one of his sons, only to have to repeat the exercise a few times during the whole telephone visit The End In the end, my husband and two brothers were at his bedside. Jim’s 3 sisters had visited throughout his last several months. The family was fortunate there were assets to pay for the live-in nurses for those several years. If he had lived 6 more months, all the cash reserves and all saleable assets would have been spend on his care. A reverse mortgage was being researched with the guardian’s signature at the ready. It was a close call, financially. All that was left was the family homestead that was there for almost 4 generations, which had to be sold to settle the estate. Plan Now For The Future
This family long term care experience started halfway through my current career as a Long Term Care Planning Specialist. You’d be surprised how often I hear of similar experiences of caring for elderly family members and the costs involved when the family didn’t prepare in advance for care expenses. All of us are our own insurance company paying out of pocket for long term care unless we pro-actively decide now to put protection in place to protect our assets, our spouse’s health and our independence. Planning now to live with dignity and have control of over your care choices is easily done by researching whether Long Term Care Insurance is right for you with the aid of an experienced professional who specialized in this field. I encourage you to consider this important protection not only for yourself, but your adult children as well.
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