Looking Inward: The Crux of Our Calling

When I talk with counselors, or listen to them talk among themselves about why they pursued counseling as an avenue of service, I often hear things such as: "I wanted to help others," "I wanted to help people in the healing process," "I believe God called me into this work," or "I found healing through counseling and wanted to pass on what I was given." Certainly these are true reasons. They are also good reasons. Recently, however, I have been struck with the possibility of another reason why God may have called us into this vocation we call counseling— one I have never before heard expressed. Is it possible that God has called us into this work so that we might pray?  Think about it. You and I know things about people and situations that no one else knows. We know about marriages, abuse, violence and sick churches. We know about things far beyond a particular counselee's specific life.

Our counselees tell us about their histories, their church lives, their marital lives and their communities. We hear information about individuals, churches, communities, organizations and even nations that we will never personally encounter or have direct influence over. I believe that God allows us to see and hear things so that we will help. That is without question. Is it not also possible that He brings us into contact with things in this world so that we will intercede? Our intercession can cover far more people and situations than we can ever help in the literal sense. It is as if God is saying, "See this sin? Hear about my people? Comprehend this evil and its tentacles? Pray child. Pray for all that I have put before you." It is in the process of interceding that God's purpose and wise order is brought about in this world.  Prayer also nourishes the life of God in us. Prayer is not merely a way of getting things from God for another or us. Prayer is what enables us to know the mind of God regarding the matter for which we are praying. So much of what we work with is poisonous. We handle things like violence, torment, fear, abuse, deception and despair.

These things are toxic and have the potential to destroy us. We hear these things and think we know what to do and how to think about it. But do we? How often do we set out to do the work, but then are surprised? It goes differently than we expected; it is harder than we thought. Counseling takes much longer than we dreamed possible, and it impacts in ways that catch us off guard. We get impatient, angry, afraid, hardened, cynical and despairing. Prayer is how we say to God, "What is your way? Why are my thoughts not like yours? What work needs to be done in me? Why is my heart not reflective of yours?" Prayer is the work of feeding God's life in us, transforming us more into the likeness of Christ regardless of what is happening in the work or the world to which we have gained entrance. Prayer is also what will enable us to be long-suffering in this work. Long-suffering is that power which enables us to suffer on, to bear with the suffering, to assimilate it and use it without letting it irritate, exasperate or numb you. We must learn to be long-suffering with God Himself.

The strain He puts on us in this work is immense. Part of that strain results from the fact that God uses the work of counseling to do the work of redemption in us—to help some maimed limb in us recover or to exercise some impaired faculty.  We also need long-suffering with God's methods of working. His methods seem terribly slow to our impatience. The work we do demands much time and patience. Prayer is the school in which we are shaped and molded to His design. Prayer is the way we learn to live and walk at God's pace. God is patient because He is eternal. We are impatient because we are creatures of time. He desires to make us like Himself. Think of the waiting this work requires of us. Think of the time that passes between first hearing a victim's story and the healing that eventually comes. Online therapy can be helpful to get rid of such problems.

Think of the time it takes to see bridges formed in a shattered marriage. Think of the waiting required when working with an addict. God's waiting often makes no sense to us. People suffer while God waits. How can we walk with a God who waits in the midst of horrific things unless we are students in the school of prayer?  Diane Langberg,Ph.D., chairs AACC's Executive Board and is a licensed psychologist with Diane Langberg & Associates in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania. She is also the author of Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse and On the Threshold of Hope.