Losing Your Parent - It Can Be A Massive Blow!

The hardest thing you can face as a caretaker or even as a normal person is the loss of one of your parents. It is a traumatic time for you as well as your family and it takes a lot in you to cope up with his demise. More than he being your mom's husband and grandpa of several grandchildren, you having lost your daddy feels terrible. So how do you help your mom to get through these tough times?

There will be a time where you will need the support and understanding of your spouse and kids too. You have to stay brave for your children considering you and your widowed mom is feeling extremely difficult. You have got to support them hands down to help them through their way to forget what had happened.

The whole purpose of the funeral is that even the ones who are not close to the family feel closure that this wonderful life has gone on to his reward. There could be a sense of relief in you and your family if your dad had died after being ill for a long time. If the doctor had given no hopes for his survival, you would have had enough time to realize that he needn't suffer any longer and that death could well be the better thing for him.

You will have to be there for your mother who had just been widowed. She will need you alongside for a shoulder to cry as well as some mental support. Grief surfaces in very strange ways. Sometimes it can strike you at the funeral or sometimes it hits you ten days after the death of the elder.

Usually after the group processing of the loved elder, when the family gets home and routine work starts, you are expected to say with your mom to help her feel comfortable. This is mostly when grief surfaces. The transition might take place slowly but it is very essential for you to stay with her and help her out.

Grief tends to be selfish when it occurs. We can put up a sad face and tell people that the death has greatly affected us but in reality, it is the spouse who feels miserable after living for so many years with the person. She can feel lost and lonely after the death of your dad and so you have got to be there to lend her the supporting hand. Dinner time and other potential time can be used to talk through to make her feel that the one departed had to really go and that no one could have prevented that from happening.

As a caregiver, make sure you visit home more often without having dry spells. It can do a world of good to her as she will find herself very comfortable when you are around. Eventually she might learn to cope up with the loss alone, but it is better to be with her till the transition state.

There will surely be a time when she will cry her heart out to let her grief leave her. It is the most important period of time which you will have to spend with her. Do not try to come up with any comforting lines. Being present there can be very comforting by itself. Helping her around with the dishes and giving her a sip of wine can prove to be very consoling.

Finally and most importantly, talk about the departed elder often to your mom. She might feel happy about the fact that he is still remembered. Discuss his good deeds and anything about him to make her feel he is still around. Take a beak from your daily activities to sit down and talk about all he is done in his life and how good a man he was. You can even narrate a few stories which he had been involved in to keep her occupied. Talk about the things he has done as a father to you and how he had been a wonderful father all your life.

The joy and happiness of these times when revered can be really healing for the elderly person as well as for you. Just when you do all this, you will start to do some serious groundwork for an important caretaking responsibility in your hand for the future.