Managing stress and anxiety is becoming more and more important these days.
I’ve dealt with stress, general anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder and panic attacks most of my life. For 20 years I was absolutely miserable because I couldn’t leave the house without being stricken with abject terror.
I was blessed to discover real, lasting methods to overcome these problems and I am very proud to say that, now, things are quite different for me.
I’ve learned the key to managing my stress and anxiety issues and I’d like to share what has worked for me. The system is simple in that it can really be broken down into 2 parts:
1. Learn to neutralize feelings of stress and anxiety quickly.
2. Understand that your perception of an event is what defines it for you.
Step 1, I’m sure, is where most of you are saying, “I wish! Much easier said than done” and I fully understand that position. After all, if you had said that to me 10 years ago I would’ve laughed in your face and told you how impossible such a thing is.
However, I’ve since learned how to quickly (generally under 3 minutes) and easily reduce and often eliminate feelings of stress and anxiety. It would be too long and complicated to try and explain in this post so you can learn more here .
Step 2, though, is where the real changes happen. Your perception of an event is what defines it for you. This is, in my opinion, the real key to change and it was rather difficult for me to learn this very powerful lesson.
Understanding that when we get stressed out about something or feel anxiety, it’s because we are defining that event as something bad or dangerous. For instance, I had to drop out of high school because I was so panic stricken whenever I thought about even going to school, let alone actually being there (social anxiety disorder at work). But as I look back on it now, the only reason I was feeling that was is because my mind was defining school as a dangerous place.
Now I’ll be the first person to tell you that rationalizing yourself out of a fear or stressed state is no easy matter, which is why I point to step 1 of the process. If you can at least reduce those feelings of stress, fear or panic, you can begin to really look at the situation you’re in and assess it. “Am I really in danger here? Is something going to happen that is so bad my life is at stake?”
Learning to see each event asneutraland then choosing to define that event as you see fit (finding the silver lining in the rain cloud) is, in my opinion, the real trick to mastering stress and anxiety. Yes, this does require a complete change of thinking patterns. You have to stop thinking in terms of doom and gloom and start telling yourself a new story. “Maybe I did just lose my job but I know I’ll find another one soon” is much more conducive to mental well being than “I just lost my job! What am I going to do?!? I’m doomed!” Or “Ok, that was a really bad break up. I’m going to take some time to nurture myself and then I know I’ll find someone better suited to me” is much healthier than, “The only person who would ever be with me just left me! I’m so unlovable! I’ll be alone forever!”
Some may say that “looking on the bright side” is unrealistic and maybe foolish but I would counter by asking this. How helpful is it–really–to spend your time stewing in negativity? Does deciding your life is over make you get hired that much faster? Does labeling yourself unlovable and doomed to a life alone get you into a relationship any faster? Of course, not. In fact, being so negative and pessimistic actually keeps those things away from you longer. How many people who have given up on love are out there dating? How many people who have decided there is no work out there for them are putting in applications? You see how it works?
May each of you be blessed with peace and happiness,
