Main dynamics of transference and countertransference in therapy. (And while I am not a Freudian or psychoanalytic therapist, I do believe that all counselors should know and respect the operations of the defense mechanisms and transference/ countertransference dynamics.)
Sexual misconduct in therapy remains the largest ethical failure in the helping professions and is perpetrated mostly by male therapists against young, vulnerable, attractive female clients (representing nearly 90% of the cases). Since all men are susceptible to crossing sexual boundaries (a wise assumption to take into all male therapist training), the sexual countertransference should be normalized and become a central part of all training and supervision of young men. Supervisors can normalize it by talking honestly about their own sexual attractions and struggles in therapy, and men in training should become familiar with the kind of women who will create sexual feelings in them. This involves discussion, for prevention and control purposes, of both the kind of women that men are attracted to physically and the seductive behaviors that some women will bring into therapy (both the more innocent histrionic types and manipulative borderline types should be addressed).
Three things should be consistently stressed in this training/supervision to enhance the avoidance of sexual misconduct. One is that the therapist is always a therapist, even outside the therapy hour. Two, it follows that the therapist is responsible for maintaining sexual control 24/7, no matter what sexual temptations are thrown at him, no matter how direct, and no matter where, when, and how done. Third, supervisors must create a safe place to discuss sexual temptations and feelings, inviting and probing for discussion when he/she knows that their supervisee is seeing a potentially tempting client. If a group supervisory situation impedes such discussion, inviting the trainee in for private, confidential consultation should be done.
Furthermore, since an all-too-common abuse profile reveals a man in mid-life as the perpetrator, I would encourage all men to have an accountability- discussant partner to vent their issues and with whom to be completely transparent. So many abusers of this kind are not only lonely but also largely alone in the conduct of their practices and ministries; they have cut-off a significant part of who they are from honest view and reflection. While they may act and look good publicly, they are often cut-off or frustrated sexually in their marriages, have secret addictions to pornography, and fantasize about acting out sexually with one or more of their clients or parishioners. Intimacy and vitality are lacking in most, if not in all their relationships" including and especially with God"and they fight against a growing sense of desperation and loss. It is a vicious, simmering, downward spiral just waiting for an explosion that destroys lives, families, and ministry careers.
Another, and a sometimes sex-related, issue revolves around anger. How do male therapists handle angry expressions by their female clients? (And the question of female therapists handling male client anger is also significant, but for another article.) Does he know how to discriminate transferent anger from anger that he himself triggers? On the countertranference side, what produces anger in him by his female clients? How does he mange his own anger so it does not interfere with the therapeutic alliance? What does his own anger reveal about unresolved mother and female issues that might still need to be worked out in his growth?
Transferent fear and anger often come together in the woman who has been abused by men. In many cases, it is conventional wisdom for abused women to work with a female therapist to rebuild trust and other core life skills. And men who do not seem to be connecting with their female clients should consider whether unspoken abuse issues exist that are blocking the therapeutic alliance from developing.
I do not ascribe, however, to the theory that an abused woman should always work exclusively with a female therapist. In fact, I believe that while initiating therapy may often demand female-tofemale work, ending therapy may, instead, call for the services of a male therapist. An abused woman who has gained a great deal of ground in therapy may often transfer to a male (or work with a male at a future time) in order to fully address the issues of learning to trust men"and trusting God"all over again.
Male therapists who appreciate and work well with rebuilding trust issues in abused women are precious souls and should be commended for working well with this sensitive challenge in our field. However, even the most trusting men will work with women who will have difficulty disclosing their most intimate secrets"especially those who have been abused and who act-out sexually in shameful ways. Men need to learn to ask direct questions about these matters, to ask them in the course of their normal intake process, and to keep asking them, gently but persuasively, at critical junctures in the clinical process.
Probably the most critical (and controversial) transference issue for male Christian counselors is their representation of God (and I do not believe that this is an exclusively male domain as anyone in authority elicits a God-transference in therapy). This is why ethical misconduct of any kind is so egregious, and on the positive side, why Christian counseling is one of the 21st centuries most potent forms of discipleship. Christian counseling is the arena where the invisible becomes visible, where Gods love and character get fleshed-out like nowhere else. Developing a strong sense of ones impact as Gods regent in therapy has a sobering and salutary effect on most male therapists, and should be a topic for supervisory discussion in Christian counseling training everywhere.
The helping professions are known primarily as womens professions, and women are still mostly represented as therapists among the non-psychiatric clinical disciplines. They could be known as womens professions, as well, because women come to therapy far more often than men (more, I believe, a matter of denial than of strength). Male therapists will see and work with all kinds of women in a clinical career, a fact requiring awareness that gender differences are real. For men, this truth demands constant humility, not hubris.Take help from telephone therapist .
The ˜womens profession attribution may also extend because the characteristics of a good counselor"warmth, empathy, good listening"have historically been associated more with the female gender. Yet men must also exhibit these qualities, not only to be good therapists, but also to engage in healthy and growing human relationships. Men without these characteristics will be poor counselors and will be deficient, even troubled in any kind of relationship. Therefore, it is imperative that we raise our sons and train our young male therapists in these critical relationship qualities, no matter the gender of the person at the other end.
