Moral Concerns About Having a Threesome

Are threesomes ethical?

You’ll probably find that my opinion is far from everything you’ve been told by most of your respected elders, ministers, teachers or almost anyone inside the well intended society. We have been raised in a world where “monism” and “dualism” reign. Our upbringing has taught us that there is either one “right” answer or that there are “good” and “bad” answers. Only a small percentage of people ever get to understand what “pluralism” means.

When it comes to sex, we learn early on in our lives that we need to be “monistic.” We’re conditioned by external factors to think that monogamy is the single best way, and that an ideal marriage must be fully monogamist.

We idealize this concept and internalize it deep into our beings. As we grow up we get confronted with more socio cultural issues that are from a “dualist” nature, we tend to hear theories that basically divide the world in half. People are straight or gay, good or bad. Most of the time these divisions tend to be opposite; as if one is good and the other evil. Dualism leads us to believe that it’s wrong not to conform to the norm of society. In this book I challenge most of those ideologies as I’m a pluralist by nature. Pluralists take the open-ended view; pluralists refuse to accept the reduction of everything down to one or two ways of seeing the world. To a pluralist, each person’s life is important, so in my eyes there can be as many ways to be sexual as there are people in this planet, and in my eyes all of them are valid. So my answer to this question is obviously that of course threesomes are ethical.

Is a threesome sinful?

A lot of people base their sense of ethics on what society or religion considers “good” or “bad.” They believe that being “good” means obeying the laws that have been set by a power greater than themselves. Most religions have been based on the belief that people are afraid of “breaking” the rules that are part of the creed of that particular religion. People believe that a certain force will punish them for doing something that’s not within the boundaries that are set by the interpreted sacred scripture.

Most religions have conditioned people to obey rather than to grow. The truth is that human beings already have a programmed internal sense of ethics. It’s not in our nature to murder other human beings. It’s not in our nature to purposely hurt anyone. The reason why human beings do these things sometimes is because of psychological transformations beyond our understanding. It is in our nature to feel sexually aroused or to desire having sex with another human being. However, we’ve been conditioned to carry a feeling of shame for our perfectly natural sexual desires and fulfillments. I believe there’s nothing evil or sinful about a threesome. This might be a different answer than you expected, but in my opinion all you’re doing is sharing the special gift of sexuality with others.

Is a Threesome immoral?

Our culture tells us that a threesome is evil, uncaring, immoral and destructive. Don Juan, Casanova: watch out! Interesting enough, society thinks that giving yourself to pleasure is immoral. It’s like if they will steal something from you.

That is strongly between your ears, basically in a threesome what you are doing is not taking away something away from someone in the contrary, you are sharing an experience with someone and also you are sharing pleasure with someone. The issue here is that many people are afraid that that their relationship might be dented, the truth is it will not be dented because the fact that you have read this book puts you strongly ahead, if you share love tenderness and joy with that third person, the natural thing will be for your relationship to grow.

Suzy Bauer

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