My Ex Boyfriend Wants To Be Friends... But I Want A Relationship

"But we can still be friends..."

Nothing's worse than trying to remain friendly when you're still in love with your ex boyfriend.  The hurt... the jealousy... the pain of watching his life go on while you're stuck at home, alone, wishing you were with him.  So whatshouldyou do when your ex boyfriend just wants to be friends?

Well for starters, you need to understand how your ex sees things right now.  When your boyfriend plays the friendship line on you, he's looking to move one.  He's ending your relationship, and he wants the freedom to date other people.  And despite what he's saying, he certainly doesn't want you around as a "friend".

At the same time however, your ex isn't ready to let go of you.  He's using friendship as a tool to keep you close by, just in case he changes his mind.  When it comes to breaking up with a girl, all guys love a safety net... and that's exactly what you've become.

Any ex boyfriend who'sreallybreaking up with you?  He's going to move on quickly and wordlessly.  In this type of scenario, he's not going to want you around at all - even in a friendship type of role.  In this case, your ex is ready to move on.  There are still some excellent reinsertion techniques you can use to win him back, but you'll have to move pretty fast.  These involve touching upon your ex's emotional attachments to you, so learn what they are.

So back to friendship.  The fact that your ex boyfriend wants to be friends is actually a very good sign.  He wants to keep you close and within reach.  He also wants to keep an eye on your social life, to make sure you're not getting involved with someone else.  If you start dating a new boyfriend before he himself gets to move on?  That's a pretty big shot to his ego.

Being friends with someone you dated is one of the worst things you can do.  If winning your boyfriend back is your ultimate goal, friendship is never a good place to be.  For one, you can't really make a romantic move toward your ex while you're stuck in the role of his platonic friend.  Another bad side effect of being friends after the break up is that in a relatively short time, that's all your ex begins to see you as.  Staying friends for too long can make it nearly impossible to transition back into a full-blown relationship.

The best course of action?  Refusing your ex's friendship.  When your boyfriend mentions keeping in touch, just tell him you don't think it's a good idea.  A guy who wants to keep communicating with you after the break up is trying to let go of the relationship gradually, for his own sake.  By refusing to be placed into a friendship role, you're tearing yourself away from him all at once.  Your ex boyfriend is not going to like that, and it may cause him to reconsider losing you in the first place.

As you maintain your distance, another great thing happens:your ex will miss you.  This is something that doesn't ever occur while you're still hanging around as his friend.  By removing yourself from his life, your ex finally gets a chance to see how much he relies on contact with you.  He'll start realizing that he values you as a girlfriend, and not just as a girl friend.

If your boyfriend wants to stay friends after breaking up it's a very good sign, but you'll still need to be proactive if you want your ex back.  Your best chance at successfully dating him again lies in having a step by step plan.  Mapping out a blueprint for winning his heart can help you determine what to do, and exactly when to do it.