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"My son can’t focus!" It’s not something you want to think about. It’s not something you know how to deal with. But it’s true: you’ve seen it yourself. The other parents at day school and play dates have noticed it. And now your child’s grade school teacher is concerned.
Sometimes you think it's a matter of stubbornness. Your child will not focus! He just won’t! Then, sometimes, you realize it's because he can’t focus: he doesn’t know how to read his own body and mind, he doesn’t know how to cut off the impulses, calm his spirit, bring himself under rein.
When you realize it’s often involuntary—that your child can’t focus, not that your child will not focus—then you can begin to look for answers to help your boy learn better ways. The best approach will be one tailored specifically to your child and your family. A combination of therapies, home patterns of discipline, and alternative and prescription medications can go a long way toward helping your child to focus.
When you say, "My son can’t focus," you’re saying something simple, powerful, but not necessarily catastrophic. Unlike the idealized children in child-raising manuals, real children don’t always develop in the same order, and without the occasional hitch in their stride. A child’s neurological development continues into his early twenties and is modified every step of the way by experience and teaching. It’s not unexpected that for some children a stage will be late, or that a child will lack any special talent in an area such as focus.
The issue is to help your child. To do that you need to stop the mantra, "my son can’t focus" to override the desire to get mad. When you’ve got that fully in mind, the next step is to get help. Whether you go to your school for counseling and treatment in academic and social focus techniques, to a private therapist for similar work, or to a doctor for medication and referrals.
One route to look into seriously is that of alternative medicine, especially homeopathy. Many patients have been thrilled with the results of this mild, but effective tradition of medicine. Rather than the chemical blitz of prescription medicines, homeopathy uses extremely low concentrations of active ingredients such as Hyoscyamus, Verta Alb, Arsen Iod, and Tuberculinum to help. When you are feeling your child will not focus a small amount of medication can help gather scattered thoughts and feelings, and bring a child back to center.
Don’t give up on your child. Even if there is an element of willful acting out, there is no reason to get trapped in the idea "my child will not focus." In the right time, with the right guidance, and whatever other help is available including homeopathy, you can come through this time, giving your son a basic grounding many “normal” children will never experience and never know. On that day you can change your mantra from "My son can’t focus," to "My son pays such great attention!"
But keep in mind: the route to full maturity is long, and not laid out as neatly as the child raising books would have you believe. Keep the faith, follow the discipline, and hang in there.
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