Pain Before Pleasure - My Journey into Reiki

Back in May '07 I became a Reiki master. Years before I had become a Reiki 1 and 2 practitioner as I had wanted to heal other people. I did both courses in the same weekend. I'd been asking myself for years "What can I do in order to help other people heal?"

The thought that I may need healing myself was never a factor in my process or decision to study Reiki. I soon knew that Reiki worked as I'd had a very profound experience after my initiation. This had followed self-treatments for six weeks after my course.

Despite this, I had huge reservations as to the intent and motivation of my Reiki master. I clearly had my own issues going on at the time and he was the perfect target for my projections. Consequently, I did not seek his guidance and proceeded on my own, using my intuitions to assess the energies that I was channelling. Since I was working night shifts I used my breaks to give myself long treatments.

On that occasion I soon developed a large pain in my chest, at the location of the heart. Fortunately, as I was working in a Coronary Care Unit (CCU) at the time I knew the symptoms were asymptomatic of angina and just trusted the process. This was despite a daily increase in the pain after each self-treatment.

After six weeks the pain was so great that I could barely drive my car, since it was too painful to turn the steering wheel. I cancelled all of my shifts at work and treated myself for a few more days, and now my sleep started to suffer.

One day, whilst in the bath, I had a huge catharsis and began to see my life flash before me. Everything that I had done was starting to become apparent and I started to wonder what message I would have left the world if I had died just then. I cried for England as the bath filled up further.

I spent the next three days acting as though I was Scrooge on Christmas morning! This led to me telling all of my friends and family, who were around me at the time, how much they meant to me, whilst shedding plenty more tears. With each proclamation the pain eased a little more.

Despite the profundity of this experience I stopped using my Reiki, except for the odd, intermittent treatment, for several years afterwards. During my Reiki 1 and 2 course I met two very dear friends, Alan and Annette. We have remained in contact ever since and shared our respective journeys.

When Alan asked Annette and I if we wanted to become Reiki masters last year I decided that it sounded like a good idea. He had found a Reiki master that he liked and we would need to meet up four times over three months.

We attended the course and, like before, I started to do a few treatments on myself. Shortly after I developed a pain in my shoulder, which worsened over time and Reiki. As there was plenty going on in my life during that period I had not considered the synchronicity of becoming a Reiki master and developing this pain.

My NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) training had led me to believe that I had created this pain for a purpose, so I set out to find what I needed to do to resolve it. I addressed issues with family and friends over the following months, which yielded numerous positive outcomes, yet the pain still remained. I performed Time-Line Therapy and self-hypnosis, releasing many things but still the pain remained.

I then attended a therapist who dealt with past-lives who regressed me to a battle numerous lifetimes ago where I received a spear in my shoulder. Surely this was the breakthrough that I had been looking for? Apparently not. Although the pain lessened considerably, I was left with a residual ache.

Earlier that year I had picked up a form from the Reiki Association, telling me about the annual Reiki gathering. Last September I decided that I would attend, as it would be a good opportunity to find out a bit more about Reiki and meet other practitioners.

During the gathering I experienced some huge energetic and emotional shifts, which frequently had me on the verge of tears. I was also humbled by an array of profoundly talented masters and practitioners.

During a group healing with a wonderfully insightful couple, Rosemary and Trevor, I was informed that the pain was due to a chip that I had on my shoulder. They also brought many other profound insights into my consciousness, giving me a healing stone to help me on my path. I was surprised; as I thought that I had forgiven everyone that I could think of, whom I'd had an issue with.

Further treatments during the gathering intensified the emotions that I had been experiencing and several questions surfaced for me. Fortunately, I was helped by the insights and healing energies of the attendees of the event.

Then, finally, on the last day I sat next to another Reiki master, Ian, and started chatting to him. He listened to my Reiki story and very gently informed me of a couple of things that I needed to know. Firstly, that I was not ready to initiate any master's into Reiki as I was clearly not ready. Indeed, watching many of the Reiki 2 practitioners during the gathering had already made me realise that I had a long way to go in order to match their skill.

Secondly, he let me know how important it was to get permission from your Reiki 1 master before getting another master to further the Reiki journey. Suddenly, I had a light bulb moment. This led to the following e-mail correspondence with my first Reiki master, which, in turn, led to another cathartic moment and the release of all pain in my shoulder.

Dear Reiki Master,

I realise that you will probably not remember me, yet it is important that I write this mail. I took a Reiki 1 and 2 weekend with you about six years ago and felt very negative about you and your teaching style afterwards. The consequence has been that it has taken me this long to understand the error of my perception.

My Reiki journey has been confusing and resulted in periods of neglect, self-doubt and disillusionment with regard to my spiritual and healing practice. During that weekend I felt that there were too many students and not enough opportunities to ask the many questions that I had at the time.

When some of your teachings were contradicted by other Reiki masters I decided that I had been short-changed and chose not to contact you about it.

Although you have not been consciously in my thoughts for several years now I have recently found my way back into Reiki through becoming a Reiki master a few months ago.

Recent attendance of a Reiki masters' gathering, with The Reiki Association, has caused some powerful energetic shifts within me and led me to talk about my early Reiki experiences. Once again, I found myself feeling very negative.

However, I now know that my negativity towards you was only a projection of my negativity towards myself. I am now in a place where I am ready to own it and apologise humbly to you for any energetic consequences that may have happened as a result of my actions.

I would also like to acknowledge the gift that you gave me during that weekend and how it has now led me to a place of very profound, deep and meaningful healing. I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart and offer my unreserved apologies for my lack of insight into the nature of Reiki and what happened to me during my initiations with you.

Peace, Love, light and healing energy,


Adam Shaw.

Dear Adam

Apologies for delay - have been in Mexico building our cancer centre, conducting research studies with children in schools with ADHD, and developing projects with the Mexican NHS.

Your email is certainly appreciated. Although you will discover as you tread your path that it is not important what a minority of others think about your work. There will always be those who do not understand - and there are countless reasons why they cannot understand.

The most important things to know as we work our soul missions are that
1. we are coming from the best possible motivation of love to help our world
2. we are attempting to help the highest majority of people who seek our help

Blessings for your good works

Reiki Master

I may not be a master of Reiki yet in anything but title - though healing comes in many forms.

My healing came the day I changed my question to the universe. It is only through honestly asking myself on a daily basis "what do I need to be consciously aware of to achieve the maximum healing in the minimum time" that led me back to Reiki.

Real, sustainable healing occurred for me the second that I decided to take responsibility for everything that has ever happened in my life. Only through this process of self-empowerment can sustainable healing occur.

My Reiki journey has led me to one of the most profound experiences of my life. For this I am filled with gratitude.