Unfortunately kids don't come with an instruction manual
Being a parent of an unruly, disrespectful child is one of life's most stressful times. Coping is what many parents do but the feeling of exasperation is often overwhelming. In most cases it simply drives you crazy. You are probably wondering if it is possible to eradicate this behavior—the answer is yes … and … no. More on this in a moment.
The disrespect you witness may manifest itself in a number of forms. Dealing with it requires a sincere effort on your part to root out the causes behind this attitude.
What has become of my lovable child?
How does a sweet lovable child become an irritable, uncontrollable, seemingly "possessed" person virtually overnight? Well one of the basic causes is simply that the child is trying to find him or herself—a kind of identity crisis. He or she is desperate to find their true inner being, "Who am I ,,, where am I going?" they ask themselves.
Yes, teenagers do really want and need your love, but they also want you to respect the fact that they are individuals. They are resentful when you "treat them like a child"—even though they are just children.teen unruly,
7 long years
Teenage life lasts for seven years but there will be times that it seems like 700. You only want the best for your child: get good grades in high school, qualify for entrance into a good college, start a productive career, live happily ever-after. But that is not how they view what seems like over-protectiveness.
As you grew to adulthood you established some basic ground rules for the person you wanted to be. Given time and understanding your child will do the same thing. Just don't try to ram it down their throats. You are who you became, the child must make this same transition too.
Is it just peer pressure?
Today's teenager faces many or most of the peer pressures you once felt. Think about how you dealt with it. At this age most teens have one overwhelming goal—to search for fun and excitement. Don't blame the child—this is how their brains are wired.
As you proceed in tackling the disrespect, keep in mind one hard fact: your child does want to be loved. The child must be convinced that his or her life has real value and meaning. And only you can provide these stimuli.
You made a commitment years ago
At the birth of your child you committed yourself to providing all the many things the child wants or needs; you want a better life for your child than what you had; but now you just want a truce, no matter how fragile, in the battle zone that has become your home.
Here are just a few tips to get you moving in the right direction. Once you put these ideas to work and you begin to see a glimmer of hope, a great deal more information will be made available to you. And remember this, nothing you try will work to your advantage if you are not consistent and do not follow through—because it's the easy way out for you.
Be a Renegade Parent: 5 tips to help clean up the battle zone!
- Do not nag and/or lecture your teen. Point out the error or misbehavior in a calm, deliberate manner. Yelling at them only deepens their resolve to taunt you.
- Avoid arguments. No one wins in this situation. Usually parent and teen will experience remorse after the argument is ended. Don't try to be the "alpha dog," The child needs understanding and support.
- Give the teens an assignment—empower them often. A sense of responsibility never harmed anyone.
- Remind teens that all of their actions have consequences. For example: Curfew on weekends is 11:00 p.m. If the child comes home at midnight-this means the decision was made to stay home (next weekend).
- Communicate with your teen, one-on-one. Sit face to face and make it perfectly clear what your expectations are.
OK, this completes your first lesson. More articles will be appearing soon. Meanwhile, if you see the slightest bit of light at the end of the tunnel, I strongly suggest you take a look at "No-Nonsense Parenting for Today's Teenager," This new publication is available on line as an instant download. Get More Information HERE!
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