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On this day I' am methodically shaping an article for the Great Digital Stage (GDS), i.e. the internet, regarding my decreasing level of anxiety regarding posting personal works. Come on, really just how many people are going to read this, how many of those people do I actually know… I' am trying very laboriously to come up with a complement for the audience that could be anyone but I know some of you may very well not deserve the complements, nor want them from a mere digital voice like myself, you may punch yourselves in the face! The "rest" of the audience, hmmmm…. What does everyone that could possibly view this article have in common? I admire your ability to breathe the substance that is slowly becoming more carbon than oxygen. I admire that you have access to internet allowing you to express yourselves like I' am now. Lastly, I applaud you for reading this far; you can pat yourself on the back and spit on those who lie concussed from punching themselves in the face from my hypnotic disproval. Onwards!!! Now that the trolls have been incapacitated with my club-like wit, the actual readers are bristling with joy from a much-deserved pat on the back, I can proceed speaking to you directly via internet about performance anxiety, you can overcome it by building experience and eventually confidence. While anxiety can help motivate you to do those much needed last revisions and rehearsals, if it cripples you at the performance itself, your confidence may never survive. Don't let others control your presentation, prepare it for them before hand, then let it play itself out in a natural and composed manner. Would you like it if I worried so much about what you, reading this article were thinking that I cut and pasted until this article was pixilated out of existence. Wait! Don't answer that, calmly apply it to your next live reading or rock show. If you were in the audience expecting a show, you would not want your mere presence to cause the performer so much worry that they mal-performed. Therefore, because this article will have a handful of readers will not drive me to get out of this bathroom and look more professional, or to stop listening to this killer Nine Inch Nails CD, or to edit it, because sometimes you learn just as much through failure as through success. But I wish you to succeed though, on whatever endeavors you undertake, and if someone ever asks you why you believe yourself to be suited for the position, you may casually reply "This awesome guy on the internet made a wish that I'll succeed at my endeavors and so I shall", to which your new boss will reply "You too have spoken with the wish-granting internet wizard, he said the same thing to me years ago and now I run the most profitable fish stall in Michigan City, truly you have success in your blood, Welcome Aboard!"
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