Professional Answer to Stress problem
Hasan yahya, Ph.D
You are Depressed, tried to cope, but you can’t, and you feel that ALL your body is itchy, These are all symptoms of anger, anxiety, fear and stress all together, or what we call in psychology, a posttraumatic stress disorder (PSTD), in sexual, eating, mood disorders , and lack of sleep. All these symptoms came suddenly after giving birth to your child.
I would say, it is positive thing to try, the negative thing is to say: I cant. Concerning physical itchy body, any medical doctor may suggest some drug medicine for you, As far as your depression problem, here comes my specialty. I am a doctor of philosophy, not a medical doctor.
I guess you are great writer to describe what you feel. You are an idealist person, like all things to be perfect. While your husband is realist, doesn’t bother to interfere other than his permission to your kid to go to nursery school.
You both are normal people, live an American life, with all the convenient and inconvenient circumstances face people in daily life.
As you put it: “the real problem is that I have a highly demanded baby (who is 20 months) & husband” “They both need me at their service (ALL) day & night.
What type of this husband? As you described: 1) “he tried to spank (a 20 month baby?) our kid” 2) [he] was a great husband till I got pregnant,” and 3) “ he is on constant complain from our baby's crying and nagging,” which increases your stress. I don’t know, When? How long this happened? Does it general behavior or what? Where is the principle of responsibility from him and from you? I doubt there are people with these qualities in modern times where respect and caring are most cherished values in our great America. Are these statements exaggeration or what? Is it true or false. Is imagined or real?
I think you were not ready to take parenting responsibilities, one baby (20 months, and a husband) this is the maximal purpose in life you are not appreciated enough. These two contradict with what’s in your mind. What do you want, to be served taking without giving? What exactly do you want?
Any way, I will give you these devices to try wishing you good luck:
According to my knowledge and experience, managing Stress and anxiety is related to managing time. People have to practice some of the following to help themselves to cope with stress and anxiety symptoms:
- Learn short-time & deep relaxation techniques
- Use time management principles
- Form an open, close relationship with someone
- Delegate (interact with others) effectively
- Improve interpersonal competencies
- Form teams and share tasks
- Talk to someone you trust
- No blame to yourself or others
- Say and repeat " I am NOT under STRESS"
- Say and repeat " I will overcome this stress"
- Implement small wins strategy
- Increase your physical resiliency
- Celebrate your success with others as well as share others' successes
Other thing: Type of Stress can be defined as anacute stressor chronic stress (Long Term). Acute stress is the reaction to an immediate threat, commonly known as the fight or flight response. Where sometimes you have no choice to choose to be in it or not. The threat can come any time through life experiences. Unexpected situations may be experienced consciously and unconsciously, real or imagined as a danger thing. Your daily stress may be an acute stress. And therefore, I suggest to you these three rules from the author’s book:Personality Types & Stress Management(2008, on amazon)
1.Share your thoughts: Do not hesitate to express your thoughts. Don’t make it a habit of closing your personality from others by not sharing stressful thoughts from family or loved ones, becausesharingis a great quality to be a human able to help yourself and cope with stressful situations.
2.Do not wait tomorrow, it is surely coming to be today, and then yesterday. Just wait, and live harmoniously with your close social environmental circle. Your family and practice the principle LET GO.
3.Your beliefis your church, pray or mediate a moment of time alone. It is a practice recommended by many doctors. You have to stop doing anything. Just pause and think for a certain time, five minutes, ten minutes, to half an hour a day. You will find that your knowledge of yourself is increasing by time, and your relations with others is enhanced. I wish you a good Luck.(795 words)
Hasan Yahya is a professor of Sociology, and a columnist at wfol.tv, Malaysia, and TINA International News Agency, Chicago, USA.
