Secret #1 – Make Direct Eye Contact While Speaking
Answer this question : Why does an animal trainer keep his eyes upon the eyes of the animals he is training?
A steady, direct look makes speech doubly effective, for it invariably carries the impression of confidence and of power. It is pleasing to a person who speaks to you, because it shows him that you are attentive. The fact that you fix your eyes upon his shows him that you are interested in him and in his subject. Your direct look compliments him, and will make him remember you.
If you speak in public, whether to a large or to a small audience, look your audience in the face. If you allow your attention to fix itself upon notes or manuscript, or if you look at some vague point before you, you lose touch with your listeners.
Look into the eyes of all-not simply of those in the center, but into the eyes of all-at the right, at the left, on the platform with you, and you will establish a magnetic bond that will not easily be broken.
“Whether with one person or with a thousand, look into the eyes of your listeners. Let your personality meet theirs. Let there be a meeting of souls.”
Speak eye to eye, and heart to heart, not occasionally, but always; not alone with your intimate friends, but with all with whom you speak. It will help in making you a master of speech and a leader of men.
Secret #2 – Let Facial Expressions Aid Your Speech
An open countenance that reflects an honest soul pleases everyone. As you talk, whether to one person or to a thousand, let your face light up with the changing emotions of what you say.
Such looks are contagious, and they aid in carrying your thought to your listeners. They draw attention and thus awaken interest.
An old man stands every day on one of the crowded streets of New York and sells a cheap mechanical device. As he demonstrates, he talks. His face is a study. As he explains the little contrivance, his countenance lights up, grows serious, changes-he looks at you kindly, and you feel that he is explaining one of the marvels of the age. Consciously or unconsciously, he is using his expression as part of his demonstration.
The man with the speaking countenance will succeed in life far more easily than will one who hides his personality under a real, or an assumed, mask of stolidity.
Secret #3 – Be a Leader in Speech
The best way to attain leadership in talk is to make everything that you say worthy of being heard.
I know a business man who masters any conversation in which he takes part-but he never appears to be doing so. He speaks directly to the point, with clear common sense. He tells a story that illustrates a point in question. He takes up a remark, and amplifies and illustrates it. He gives a new turn of thought to the conversation. You feel that there is a world of personal power backing him. As a result, he is head of a great business enterprise.
A talkative person is not usually a leader. Leadership lies with the one who gives his judgment opportunity to act before he speaks.
People are quick to discover sound points of view. It is well not to be too ready to enter into talk.
Listen, gather evidence, reflect upon it, and speak with weight rather than with glibness.
Take the lead in introducing topics of discussion.
If you know with whom you are likely to talk, and under what circumstances, prepare yourself by thinking, ahead of time, of topics that are likely to prove of interest.
Read newspapers, periodicals, and books of the day, so that you will be able to speak from a full mind. One who has a fund of information at command will be able to make any discussion interesting.
Take a commanding position in any talk by proposing new lines of thought, or new subdivisions of old lines.
Avoid letting those with whom you speak give most of the suggestions.
Do not allow a conversation to close until you have determined that you wish it to close. When you have presented all the lines of thought that you think advisable, bring the talk to a close yourself, with "the last word."
If you can do all this without bumptiousness or conceit, and with proper regard for the opinions of others, you will soon find yourself talking easily, and masterfully, with those of whom you may once have stood in awe.
Secret #4 – The Power of Silence
Look around you at people with whom you associate. You see many who chatter idly and frivolously, saying nothing with much seriousness, and often, with thoughtless words, saying something harmful.
It was such a person whom Shakespeare ridiculed when, in "The Merchant of Venice," he said "Gratiano speaks an infinite deal of nothing, more than any man in all Venice."
No one admires such a person. Such a person is amusing but not substantial.
On the other hand, you see a few of your associates who are "men of silence." Like Colonel House, they say little but they think much. Their opinions are worth knowing. When they do speak they are likely to speak wisely. Their power over men comes largely from concentration.
- Do not waste energy in idle, flippant speech.
- Do not form habits of speaking thoughtlessly.
- Make silence lead to good judgment.
- Resolutely practice the art of silence so that you may speak wisely when you do speak.
Secret #5 – The Power of Questions
The hero of Arnold Bennett's novel, "Denry the Audacious," attains success in a curious way. Not having advantages of wealth or of education, he found a way to riches and fame through the medium of speech. He always asked the question: "Do you?" Little by little he gained a reputation. for wisdom and ability, without having any very large share of either.
The fantastic story teaches a good lesson. Few people like to assume the burden of statement. It is unwise to contradict what another has said. It is easy to ask questions. The hero of the story did not notice contradiction, nor did he answer questions. He put the full burden upon the ones with whom he talked. His constant questions were :
"Do you think so?"
"What do you think?"
"Is that your opinion?"
Few people can resist it. It has the advantage of being entirely non-committal as far as you are concerned and it draws the full thought of the one with whom you speak.
One of my friends, consciously or unconsciously, employs this method. Again and again I have heard his direct questions: "Do you?", "Do you think so?", and they always search out logical weaknesses, and call for thought.
- Never contradict.
- Never argue.
- Give your companion the opportunity to assume the full burden.In almost every case you will win your point.There are times when it would be impolite or offensive if you immediately expressed your opinion.
- Be wholly non-committal, and give full way to the one who speaks. Put him, as it were, in your power.There are times when your associates speak hastily or thoughtlessly. You do not wish to contradict them openly.
- Say quietly: "Do you think so?" and you give opportunity for thought and revision.This method is one of the most successful methods of speech when you wish,
(a) To gain a temporary advantage.
(b) To show the weakness of an argument.
(c) To talk with an angry or quarrelsome person.
Secret #6 – How to Arouse Interest in What You Say
- Establish a bond of interest of some kind in every talk. That bond is found through a clear understanding of the circumstances. There are times when what would add to interest on one occasion would interfere with interest on another.
- Adapt yourself to circumstances. It is a mistake to think that there is any one way of creating interest. There are as many ways of creating interest as there are occasions for speaking.
- Establish a good point of contact and you are certain to create interest. The relationship between mother and child is so close that the mother is keenly interested in anything whatever that the child says or does. The child's acts and words may be of the most trivial sort, utterly uninteresting to any but the mother. The point of contact, the warm relationship, creates interest. In business talking you should create interest by establishing as close a point of contact as possible.
- Create interest by arousing curiosity. All people have curiosity in a high degree. That is why crowds collect so quickly when anything unusual occurs. A public speaker, by exhibiting objects, or by promising to do or say certain things, arouses curiosity, and therefore arouses interest. Some years ago I heard a street performer speak on a city corner. He said: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am a notorious swindler. I have come here to swindle you. If you have any money in your pockets.. go home.. Here is what I did in other places." And he read newspaper accounts proclaiming him a dangerous swindler. His words interested everyone. The crowd increased: His power of talking maintained interest, and he actually swindled the entire crowd just as he had said he would do. He had aroused interest because he had appealed to curiosity.
- In conversation arouse curiosity. Lead to your point by degrees; make your speech have the effect of climax.
- Do or say that which is unusual, new, or in any way out of the ordinary.
- Avoid the commonplace.
- Use humor freely as a means of creating interest.
- Use exaggeration in a whimsical manner.
- Use distinctive or unusual gesture.
- Give a few specific details.
- Exhibit specimens, samples, pictures, maps, or any object.
Secret #7 – How to Read the Minds of Your Audience
If a person could have such wisdom that he could see fully into the minds of other people he would almost never be at a loss for effective speech.
He would know the situation fully and would therefore be prepared to meet it.
No one can ever hope to have such wisdom, but he can at least approach it.
When a parent talks to a child he very largely understands what is passing in the child's mind. This gives the parent an advantage that commands the full respect of the child.
In business life approach the ability that a parent has in dealing with a child. Know what is passing in the minds of those with whom you talk.
Gain that knowledge by putting yourself in the position of those with whom you talk.
All people, under exactly similar conditions, act somewhat alike. You may easily assume a situation and the attitude toward the situation.
Do not assume that you are in the other person's place. Assume that you actually are the other person.
It is said that George M. Cohan writes his plays for an imaginary newsboy named "Bill," who sits in the "top gallery." As he writes, he puts himself in "Bill's" place, and looks at the play. If the imaginary "Bill" doesn't like the scene, Mr. Cohan rewrites it. "I wonder if Bill will like that," he says, and by thus putting himself in the audience, makes his plays successes.
We are all of us so naturally gifted with understanding of human nature that we can easily, in mind, act the part of another.
You have something to sell. Your prospective customer is a man very different from yourself in mind and in circumstances. Put yourself in his place.
Imagine that you are he, with all his likes and dislikes.
Think what kind of speech would best induce you to purchase. Then make that kind of speech.
On the contrary, think what kind of speech would be least successful with you. Avoid that kind of speech.
Forget yourself, and try to understand the influences that affect the person to whom you talk--the difficulties, the anxieties.
You will find such understanding will guide your speech to success.
Start using these 7 great secrets today and watch how people respond to you. I hope you enjoy what you have learned here.
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