Child abuse stories, including those by victims of physical abuse, rape and sexual abuse can be very compelling. Others are likely to be shocked when you tell them about your story of abuse. However, if you take an attitude of observation, instead of judgment, you too can write about your experiences and heal from them.
During the summer of 1966, while throwing the Sunday newspaper, a stranger raped me. Many years later, I decided to start journaling my experiences, which turned out to be very beneficial in helping me to heal. It was a cathartic, healing process. However, it was not easy. I presently write with an attitude of observation, instead of reliving the emotions tied to the event.
Many sexually abused survivors do not speak of their trauma because of the perceived shame and guilt they are likely to suffer. According to a spiritual teacher who assisted me in my healing named Charles Crooks,"It is unfortunate that society in general, through the process of judgment, has found it beneficial to degrade those; either through unforeseen circumstances or the emotional effects of trauma."
National statistics, including child abuse statistics, report that rapists choose their crime victims based upon availability, and for no other reason. Additionally, these statistics prove that abuse survivors are true victims, not the perpetrator of the crime. Yet, there are many myths prevalent about rape victims and sexual abuse survivors, including the following erroneous fabrications:
- A man, woman or child asks to be raped or sexually abused, simply by the way they dress;
- A person who is drunk and becomes amorous with another person, asks to be raped or sexually abused;
- People cannot control their urges. If a perpetrator is turned on and does not stop the destructive behavior, then it is the survivor's fault; and
- Anyone who is raped or sexually abused wants to be raped or sexually abused.
As shown, sexual abuse survivors are not to blame. In addition, rape or sexual abuse occurs everywhere, regardless of social economic status, race, gender or religious practices. Yet contrary to the facts, the traditional beliefs remain. Why has this happened? Charles Crooks states,"Our experiences and training from others have most of us convinced that God is outside of us."Our impression about God is that He is sitting up in the heavens above, away from us. If God is truly outside of us, then we are separate from Him. Moreover, we can think we are inferior to Him.
I have found from my own testing and examinations that God is not outside of us. One such test includes the authentic Greek to English translation of a bible verse. Revelation 19:6 (KJV) states,"For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth."The original Greek word for 'omnipotent,' as used in this verse ispantakrator, derived from two Greek words,pasandkratos. These words mean 'whole' and 'power and strength,' respectively. Therefore, you can discern the intention of the original author of this verse. God is whole, encompassing everything.
From my observation, it seems that the Church and many other structured religions appear to teach this same idea. However, there is a paradox, for they also teach a contrary notion. We are taught that you must be 'saved' in order to have God come into your being, an action from a source totally outside of you. If God is everywhere, how can He be outside of you? If He is everywhere, is He not within also?
To consider God outside of you creates an imbalanced atmosphere. Believing you are separate causes one to seek superiority over another or feel inferior, resulting in judgment. In other words, one can easily develop a superiority complex, or vice versa, an inferiority complex. When you think you are not equal, you may assume you know more or less than another person. Only when all parts are equal, can there be no judgment. It has been my observation that judgment, either directed from others or within you, leads to destructive emotions such as guilt and shame.
In order to journal effectively, allowing you to heal from rape or sexual abuse, it is beneficial if you take all judgment out of the situation. Learning to observe from a neutral standpoint is more constructive.
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