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You are "Aunt Julie" and your favorite niece Sharon just told you her boyfriend Rick popped the question. As she bubbles over describing all of Rick's wonderful qualities and idiosyncrasies, all of a sudden she pauses, gets a serious look in her eyes, and with a very serious tone says "Aunt Julie, I'm scared. I don't know much about relationships, can you help me?" If you're like most people you do what comes natural and make relationship advice up, drawing from your own experiences. There is nothing wrong with that. What you have learned from your own experience is very valuable, especially when you don't have to follow the advice yourself. But there are some practical foundational suggestions you could make that will be perennially helpful. Even though it's too late for Julie and Rick, keep these suggestions in mind for the next time you're put on the spot for relationship advice. Number One Now that you're engaged, both of you will adjust. To a large degree the pressure to impress has come off, and each of you showing only your good side will slip somewhat. Although this is not always the case 100% of the time, it is a good time to take note of your future spouse's "other" traits. Remember it isn't too late to get out of the situation if you decide you don't want to be in it for the rest of your life. Number Two Don't be the one who slips. Don't think, "Now that we're committed, its OK to be 'yourself.'" The person who fell in love with you, also fell in love with the sweetness and the consideration you expressed. Remember to keep behaving the way you have, not just until you are married, but for the rest of your life. This creates a happy marriage. Number Three The best way to feel love is by giving it. Don't let expectations of receiving love ever derail your own best efforts for giving love.
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