Responsibilities of the Groomsmen

The best man is usually the grooms most trustworthy and faithful friend or relative. The ushers may be the grooms brothers, cousin, or best friends, or brothers and close relatives of the bride.

The ring bearer, a young boy between the ages of four and nine (using anyone younger than four is not recommended, no matter how cute he is), is usually a relative of the bride or groom or the child of a dear friend.

When all the grooms attendants live in the same town, they should all visit the same store to be measured and fitted for their formal attire. If someone lives out of town, he can be measured in the shop of his choice. He should then mail his correct measurements to the bride or groom, who will reserve formal wear and accessories for the final fitting.

In a military wedding the groom, as a member of the armed forces, chooses attendants from among his military friends. His best man, though, may be civilian.

The arch of swords (navy) and savers (army) is reserved only for officers. There should be a minimum of four swords/saber bearers, but it is better to have six or eight. The swords or savers are not worn by the military ushers while seating guests, but are put on just prior to the processional.

The grooms attendants are invited to attend all parties given for the bridal couple except possibly office or special group parties. They are also invited to all bachelor parties.

You may invite the ring bearer to attend parties for the bride and groom, but because of his age his parents may have him forgo attending. But do invite his parents to attend. Also invite his mother to attend any bridal showers, and his father to attend any bachelor parties.

The ushers gifts should all be alike. The best mans gift may vary from the ushers in style and design. A different kind of gift may be given to the ring bearer, one appropriate for his age. Possible gift choices; for the best man and ushers - belt buckles, billfolds, business card cases, collar stay collections, date books, desk accessories, hardbound books, jewelry cases, key rings, money clips, paperweights, pen and pencil sets, pewter mugs, picture frames, CDs/tapes, sports tickets, stationary, travel clocks; and for the rung bearer - a board game, basketball, model airplane, monogrammed mug, or soccer ball.

Responsibilities of the Best Man

Before the wedding, he
- pays for his own attire, purchased or rented.
- is responsible for making and keeping appointments for fittings.
- tries on formal attire before the wedding, preferably before leaving the store in case any sizes need to be exchanged.
- may confirm the honeymoon travel arrangements for the groom.
- hosts the bachelor party if other arrangements have not been made.
- helps the brides mother with last-minute details.
- attends the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
- may help the groom finish packing.
- may provide transportation to the ceremony site for the groom.
- obtains the marriage license from the groom and holds it until the appropriate time for signing.
- is in charge of the officiants fee. May give the envelope to the officiant before the ceremony.
- may also supervise the ushers, making sure they are thoroughly briefed, dressed, and at the ceremony site at the appropriate time.

During the ceremony, he
- is not part of the processional but enters with the groom, standing behind the groom and slightly to the left.
- may hold the wedding ring until the officiant asks for it.
- walks with the maid/matron of honor in the recessional.

After the ceremony, he
- immediately serves as one of the witnesses in signing the marriage license.
-helps the bride and groom into their car or other form of transportation if the reception is being help at another location.
- may drive the bride and groom to the reception.
- usually drives the maid of honor and other bridesmaids to the reception.

At the reception, he
- does not stand in the receiving line unless he is also the father of the groom.
- sits to the brides right at the seated reception.
- proposes the first toast to the new couple for heath, happiness, and prosperity.
- acts as the master of ceremonies, introducing any speakers, the cake-cutting ceremony, the tossing of the bouquet and garter, etc.
- mingles with guests.
- helps the groom into his going-away clothes at the end of the reception.
- checks that all luggage is in the car.
- leads the couple through the waiting guests to the exit and escorts them to their car.
- may drive them to the hotel or airport.

After the reception, he
- promptly returns both his and the grooms rented formal wear to the appropriate location.
- may help in entertaining out-of-town guests.

Responsibilities of the Ushers

Before the wedding, they
- pay for their own wedding attire, purchased or rented.
- are responsible for making and keeping appointments for fittings.
- try on formal attire before the wedding, preferably before leaving the store in case any sizes need to be exchanged.
- attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

At the ceremony site, they
- arrive at the appointed time.
- assemble to the left of the entrance thirty to forty-five minutes before the ceremony begins.
- greet arrivals and encourage them to sign the guest book, and then be seated.
- usher as follows:
couple: take womans arm, and man follows
family: take wife arm; husband and family follow
two girls: take one in each arm
two woman: escort the elder, the younger girl follows
men: simply accompany men to their seats unless they need assistance
Remain standing by the pew until the person is seated.
- when guests do not present a pew card, ask if they are friends of the bride or groom.
- seat the guests accordingly; the brides guests on the left, the grooms on the right (in Jewish weddings the seating is reversed). In a military wedding, guests who are officers are seated according to rank.
- show late-arriving guests to seats on the side with more room.

During the ceremony, they
- may participate in the processional (but often enter with the groom).
- generally escort the bridesmaids in the recessional.

After the ceremony, they
- may return to usher out the guests.
- if asked, should be able to direct guests to restrooms and phone facilities, and to the reception site.
- make certain the ceremony site is cleared of all the wedding parties belongings.

At the reception, they
- do not stand in the receiving line.
- sit at either the brides table or another table designated for the attendants, in alternating positions with the bridesmaids.
- mingle with guests.

After the reception, they
- promptly return any rented formal wear to the appropriate location.
- throughout the wedding and reception, they are to remain available to assist in whatever capacity asked by the best man or head usher.

Responsibilities of the Head Usher

In addition to the previously stated responsibilities for the position of usher. The head usher is in charge of other ushers. He assures their prompt arrival at the ceremony site for the rehearsal and wedding. When the ushers have not been designated by the bride and groom to perform special duties, the head usher appoints them at the rehearsal. He informs the ushers of any special seating arrangements. He makes certain the groom and the best man have received their boutonnieres. He supervises the seating, maintaining a balance of guests on both sides, particularly during the last fifteen minutes prior to the ceremony. He escorts the mothers of the bride and groom (unless another usher is the son of one of the mothers).

Responsibilities of the Ring Bear

Before the wedding, he
- pays for his own attire, purchased or rented.
- is responsible for making and keeping appointments for fittings.
- tries on formal attire before the wedding, preferably before leaving the store in case any sizes need to be exchanged.
- attends the rehearsal.
- may attend the rehearsal dinner along with his parents.

During the ceremony, he
- carries a pillow that may or may not have the official rings attached.
- either precedes or walks with the flower girl directly in front of you and your father in the processional.
- may then, if very young, be seated with his parents.
- if remaining with the bridal party, follows directly behind the bride and groom in the recessional along with the flower girl.

At the reception, he
- does not stand in the receiving line.
- either remains with his parents or sits at a special table for children under adult supervision.

After the reception, he
- is responsible for promptly returning any rented formal wear to the appropriate location.