It one of the hardest decisions we have to make in our lives -- yet at some point, nearly every person will have to address it. When your elderly mother or father's health declines -- either physically or mentally -- is it safe for them to continue living in their home? Should they move in with a family member? Or do they need 24-hour-a-day care that can only be provided by an assisted living facility or a nursing home? Here is an example of a common scenario:
Rebecca and her husband live 500 miles away from her 82-year-old mother, who is suffering from early signs of Alzheimer’s Disease and chronic arthritis. She worries about her safety, but upon questioning her mother, the answer is always the same: “Everything is fine. Stop worrying.”
Then one day, while at work, Rebecca received a phone call from a hospital social worker. Her mother fell down the stairs, broke her hip and was hospitalized. Rebecca’s mother insisted it could happen to anyone, and that she was perfectly safe at home and able to take care of herself.
It’s a common scenario, says Pamela Braun, MSW, LCSW, CPF, of Geriatric Assessment, Management & Solutions. When questioned about their situation and needs, an elderly person may mask the truth from family members says often the adult children find out what’s truly going on from a third party – such as the hospital or a neighbor.
Home represents familiar comforts, self-sufficiency and privacy. That’s why the prospect of moving out, into a relative’s home, or an assisted living facility, is one of the most difficult decisions a person must make in their lifetime. Often, rational decisions take a back seat to an emotional choice.
In situations like this, the difficult task of determining whether the elderly person can safely remain at home must be addressed.
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