The signs of a physically abusive relationship are usually pretty easy to see. The actions that define an emotionally abusive relationship, however, are far less clear. How does a man or woman in an emotionally abusive relationship quantify actions that don’t leave physical marks? How does someone in a relationship that leaves them uneasy and uncomfortable justify that feeling to themselves or to another? The sad truth is that many times, a man or woman in a relationship with someone who is emotionally abusive may not even understand that she is being abused. There are, however, signs of an emotionally abusive relationship. If three or more of these signs describe your relationship, you may want to learn more about emotional abuse and how it can affect you, your children and your life.
Note: Emotionally abusive relationships come in all shapes. While the word “partner” is used in these signs, it could just as easily be “parent”, “child” or “friend”. While women and girls are more often the victims of emotional abuse in partner relationships, boys and men are also often victims of emotional abuse. Gender pronouns are used simply as a convenience.
1. Do you find yourself “tiptoeing on eggshells” to avoid making your partner angry?
2. Does your partner frequently ridicule you in front of others and accuse you of having no sense of humor if you object?
3. Does your partner criticize everything you do? Has he ever told you that you’re “lucky to have him” or made you feel that no one else could love you?
4. Has your circle of friends and acquaintances seemed to dry up since the two of you have been together? Do you have no friends outside the relationship?
5. Do you have to account for every moment you spend away from the house? Does he or she constantly accuse you of flirting with others when you weren’t?
6. Does your partner blame you for his angry outbursts? Is it “always your fault” when something goes wrong?
7. Does your partner control all the finances? Does he control your access to money, work, friends or transportation?
8. Has your partner threatened to hurt herself if you leave, or if you don’t do what she wants?
9. Has your partner ever threatened or implied that he would hurt you or your children? Has he threatened to “take your children away” or made comments like “you’ll be sorry” or “you don’t know what I’m capable of doing”?
10. Do you feel afraid, helpless or angry most of the time?
Though there are no physical bruises visible in emotionally abusive relationship, however the scares left from such abuse lingers for years in some cases. And the worse of all, it can sometimes lead to psychological and mental health issues.
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