Are you heading for a divorce?
Nobody wants to deal with the stress of a divorce, but sometimes it's necessary if you want to move on.
At the end of the day, only you and your partner can decide, because you know what your circumstances are.
Sometimes you can be so involved with everything going on that it's hard to see things clearly. Try to step back and see things from a different perspective. It's important to carefully consider what a divorce will mean to you and your children, if you have any.
Six reasons to get a divorce.
*You or your partner are in love with somebody else.
*You don't love your partner anymore, or your partner doesn't love you.
*You're in a violent relationship, and you cannot cope anymore. If your partner is violent towards your children you should get out straightaway. Remember, violence isn't always physical; there's mental cruelty too.
*You feel as if you've reached the end of the relationship. You've considered the pros and cons and you realize that there's nothing left between you. You've only got one life and you feel that you'd be much happier without your partner and free to start a new life.
*If your partner is unwilling to make changes that are needed in order to save your marriage, or is reluctant to meet you half way. Changes such as getting a job, staying in more often, drinking less or becoming faithful again.
*You moved to another state or country to be with your partner and after spending a long time there, you cannot adapt and your partner will not move.
Six reasons to stay married.
*The financial cost of divorcing can be high. Divorce costs can mean hardship for one or both of you. When you take into account the cost of finding alternative accommodation and child maintenance, sometimes it can make divorcing much more stressful.
*The effect of your divorce on the children can make you feel guilty. Divorce and Kids combined can make for a bumpy road. Although children adapt to new situations, really well, there's no getting away from the fact that it will have an effect on them. That's why, if you do divorce, it's important to make every effort to try to ease them into their new life. They still need the presence of both parents in their life to an extent, unless of course one of those parents is violent.
*You might not be able to afford decent housing when you separate, so you might have to adjust to a worse standard of living. You might have the upheaval of moving house, which you didn't want to do.
*As a single person again, or a single parent, there might be times when you want to discuss problems or even the day's events, but you won't have anyone to share those with.
*If you struggled financially as a couple then it's going to be even harder being single. There's always some expense, like household bills, rent, car expenses and food. And you need to think about how to meet the cost of unexpected things that crop up.
*Keeping the family unit together can keep extended family happy, and you'll probably keep your mutual friends. But bear in mind that you can't please everybody all of the time; you should be thinking of your happiness.
*There's the strong possibility that staying together will enable you to grow together. If you work through your problems as a couple instead of separating, you could well find that you grow happier together. You can overcome most things if you love someone, even affairs. Then in the future, you can look back on that episode in your life and be so thankful that you gave each other another chance.
To see how I got the help I needed and how you can too: Stop your divorce
