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All couples go through difficult times, when outside pressures just get the better of them and things start to go badly at home, and they aren't necessarily signs of problems in the marriage.
Financial stresses, family pressures, crazy schedules and career obligations can all cause strain on any relationship. So how can you tell if these problems are typical, or indeeds are signs of marriage problems that might be cause for concern?
Complacency. Many marriage counselors agree that one of the first warning signs of marriage problems is complacency. Taking each other for granted, neglecting to spend time together, or forgetting to say I love you can all be signals of potential marriage problems that can lead to a much larger crisis.
Decreased physical intimacy. If your previously passionate love life has taken a turn for the worse, this could be a warning signal of a marriage problem . Of course, life events like having children, moving, changing jobs, or medical problems call all effect sex drive, and doesn't necessary mean signs of marriage trouble. But if the trend continues for more than a couple of months, it is a sign of a marriage issue that needs to be addressed.
Avoiding conflict. In an effort to avoid a fight, some partners will avoid conflict altogether. While this may seem like a healthy reaction, in reality it only causes the underlying problem to fester. It can also lead to an explosion of bottled emotion once it finally comes out. Avoiding potential issues can be another tell tale sign of marriage problem.
Need to win. When one partner feels that they need to win every argument, you have a sure sign of a marriage problem. Marriage is a partnership, and requires teamwork. There should be no winning and losing in a marriage, only cooperation and working toward shared goals. If you aren't doing this, you may be showing signs of issues in your marriage.
Considering an affair. If one or both of you are considering, even half-heartedly, having an affair, you are showing signs of problems in your marriage. Have an honest discussion with your partner about what is missing in your relationship, and work out some ways to rekindle the romance and stop signs of marriage trouble before they start. The long-term damage to your relationship caused by an extra-marital affair can be devastating. So think long and hard before you go down that road.
Separate vacations, separate lives. If you find you and your spouse making plans without each other, whether it's separate vacations, hobbies that keep you occupied outside the house, or even separate bank accounts, you might be exhibiting signs of marriage problems. Remember that you are a couple, and that comes first, and you can nip these warning signals of marriage problems in the bud.
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