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You must understand the feelings that come out after a break up before you can start on that road to recovery. Do you feel your heart aching so much that it seems to be ready to explode? Do you love them at one time and then hate them at another? Don't feel alone, these are feelings that are normal in any break up. When someone dies people go through certain stages and you will go through the same ones, because a break up feels the same way. Some people say that it was easier getting over a death of a spouse than it was getting over the break up of a new lover! This is because we get support from society when someone dies but we are expected to get on with our lives when we break up. 1- Sit down and write a long letter to your ex. Let it all out. Don't be afraid to say whatever comes into your mind. Call them names if you feel that way. Tell them why you loved them. Let them know how badly they have hurt you with this break up. Share all the good times and bad that you both shared. It's ok to say whatever you want because only you will ever read this letter. You may think that this is crazy, but you need to perform a ritual after you write the letter. This is going to help you get past the pain. You must light a candle and burn the letter over a candle's flame. That's right!! Burn the letter over the candle's flame. This is a ritual that will help you on the road to recovery. 2- You must set up a time and place to exchange items that belong to your ex. Depending on how long the relationship has been there are probably things of theirs at your place and things of your's at theirs. You both probably want most of your stuff back. Work out a time and place that this can take place. Those things that are not going to exchanged must be either boxed or thrown away. There shouldn't be things around, like a watch, that will only remind you of old times when you look at the time. This is not a good idea and won't help on recovery from a break up. Any financial matters must also be addressed. If you owe your ex money try to pay them off. If there is a joint checking account go to the bank with them and close it being fair. You will start seeing a pattern of closing loose ends and closing the parts of your lives that you shared. This is essential in recovering from a break up! 3- When you have taken all the necessary steps to get things straightened out you must set up one more very important step. You must agree not to have any contact for the next thirty days. No calling, no texting, no email and no meeting for these thirty days! This will allow you both to start building your own separate lives. Time is most important. It will heal the wounds and allow you to build a separate life and interact better with others. This is difficult I know! But life must go on and you must give yourself the space you need to get over the break up.
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