We're living in a time when more and more people are going within, and finding their depths and connection to the wider, magnificent reality which exists all around and within us. But still, it would seem that many, many people have their focus on the externals of life, whilst trying tofixthe internals. But with this topsy-turvy focus, what happens is that the juice that all those outer things and people bring, fails to properly satisfy. It fails to satisfy, because there is always some level of denial of oneself going on, and when this is the case, enjoyment is short-lived, and essentially, not joyful (enjoyment means en-joy after all...). Thus the impetus is then for the next thing, the next fix, the next escape from what is within.
The bad news is that though many people seek to constantly escape from what arises within themselves, they cannot successfully escape this, and the effort itself takes its toll in the long-term. Well, it's logical, isn't it? How can you escape from what you yourself have created? Rather, what you want to escape from follows you around like a shadow. Can you ever get rid of a shadow? Nope. Oh you can stand in the shade where there is no shadow. But for how long? And what do you sacrifice in this process? All that sunshine of course. And when we do not have enough sunshine we become deficient in Vitamin D........Ok, you get the gist. But this analogy is really perfect. Until we can come toloveour shadow self, we cannot know love and until we know what love is, our relationships will always feel unfulfilling and lacking.
All thoughts, beliefs and emotions are simply energy and the thing with energy is that it cannot just disappear simply by us wanting it to disappear. Now, wouldn't it be great if we could simply turn the clock back and right all wrong! Actually it wouldn't be great... Why? Because the chance to take responsibility for where we have treated ourselves and others with contempt and derision leads us to our own empowerment and such tremendous growth and love for life, that the difficulties themselves become a wonderful growth mechanism, and we can eventually come to see the silver lining in a the hardships that life brings.
So why is it hard to embrace all aspects of ourselves, including the not so nice bits? This is to do with addiction to feelings and beliefs.
Many people think that life is the way they believe it to be. Nope! Life is the way thatwe are. And every single person's experience of life is vastly unique and different. So although you might think you know someone, chances are you don't, since you see them through your own filter of thoughts, judgments, beliefs, emotions. A great spiritual teacher in the US, Byron Katie is known to say ‘No two people have met.' So true for most of us. Take the classic scenario of falling in love with Mr or Miss Perfect, then discovering that the dream boy or dream girl is not so perfect after all, and the cold shower of relationship begins J. Realityalwayshas the last laugh. We all have an image of others, and we cannot stop having an image, but we can stop the addiction to our beliefs and judgments about others. What I'm trying to get at here is that the key to being happy in life, regardless of circumstance, is becoming conscious. It's not believing everything you believe!
Here's a funny line: ‘If ignorance is bliss, then why aren't more people happy?' Those ‘ignorance is bliss' type folk just took the blue pill as in the film, The Matrix, but they just think they took the red one! However ignorance does not have the power to change reality, and the red pill never goes away.
In Matrix speak, your own Matrix is the ‘me' that you have created, and it is not real. It is made up, and whilst it's natural to do this, the ‘me' game you are playing is illusory.
We all have our own key to get out of jail, but we must put it into the keyhole and turn it. Oh, and whatever you may have done, or experienced in your life, you can't lose the key, even if you try hard to throw it away. The reason why it's so hard to use this key, is because we have formed a die-hard habit of believing we are our identity. What we fail to see is that it is this very attachment (habit) that is what brings conflict and pain. In the identity that we love so much are all manner of hopes, dreams, judgments, beliefs and emotions. And it's a dead-end, because even when those dreams are reached, we will never be able to suck the juice out of them. Why? Because in this identity-creation we are never satisfied, we (ego) are insatiable. So it is wise to assess what your own identity is. What do you most feel desperate for? What are those secret judgments you have about yourself and others? Why do you want what you think you want? Can you see the ‘me' that you love so much? Obsessed with, even. Can you actually draw back from it for a single moment? Have you noticed how much of your day is spent thinking about this identity in one way, shape or form? Such pondering leads you to seeing beyond your habitual thinking and eventually dislodges it. A good way to help dislodge it is to meditate on the question ‘Who or what is experiencing this?'
And beyond ego attachment? Instead of the negativity of need, greed, desperation, justification, defensiveness and effort to escape from emotion, there is more honesty, acceptance, spontaneity and passion and excitement for what you can create. It's life that has finally been allowed to come alive.
