Depression is a disease that can affect anyone, no matter what age, gender or nationality.
Symptoms of depression are loss of interest, poor concentration and forgetfulness, lack of motivation, tiredness, irritability, poor sleep and changes in appetite. (World Health Organisation).
Research has shown that the youth of today are more likely to suffer from stress and depression than their parents and a child with a parent that suffers from depression also more likely to suffer depressive disorders. (The Journal Of The American Medical Association)
Hurting teens will hide secrets and have a longing to be understood and loved. Most want to be able to go to their parents and discuss issues that have effected them throughout the day. Needing to be listened to and appreciated, wanting to be valued and supported in their efforts.
So we as parents need to ask ourselves this one question-
How well do we know our teenager?
Do we really know about how they view their existence in this world.
- Ask yourself
- Who are their friends?
- Why does he like them?
- Why does he hang around them?
- What music does he listen to?
- What's his favourite movie?
- What's his favourite meal?
- What worries him?
- What does he enjoy about life?
- What shop does he like the most?
- Favourite colour/favourite book.
- What does he think he is good at?
- What crisis has happened in his life that may have effected him?
As parents, we need to venture into their world, it maybe very upsetting, almost devastating, but this is the only way to understand. (Is your teen stressed or depressed? Dr A.D. Hart and Dr C.Hart Weber)
There will be substance abuse, sexual experimentation, drinking alcohol, pornography viewing, self harm, cruelty to others and much more.
You will probably find yourself asking why is he acting this way, I never brought him up like this, What have I done wrong? Where did all this come from?
Be strong; don't lash out, stay calm. Consider what affects your reaction can have on him.
They may withdraw and never feel that they can trust you again. You want them to be able to come to you with anything, don't judge how they act or explore life. Be encouraging and supportive, talk about random stuff, everyday events and life.
Treat your teen like your best friend, talk openly about everything.
Remember how you were when you were their age. Perhaps a little more conservative but your escapades were no doubt troublesome to your parents.
An important goal when communicating with teens is talking with them just to talk.
Sometimes we lose sight of what is important because the everyday tasks of parenting take over and cloud our vision. We are so busy in our lives making money and trying to keep up with the Jones' that we forget to ask our teens how their day had been.
Days turn into weeks and then months before we realise that we haven't even talked to our kids.
As a parent we need to really identify with our teenagers, understand how their world operates and what we can do to assist them through this great journey into adulthood.
