It is not the elements of our bodies that make us strong or weak to handle dire situations, but the strength of our souls and having faith. Faith is not a perspective, but rather the act to acknowledge that good happens and that no so good things can happen that can challenge the health of your soul.
The diagnosis of cancer can be very daunting as countless cancer survivors can attest. However if one is careful to ignore the predictable change in one’s heart beat or the slight breeze of uncertainty, fear, anxiety, doom or regret for not doing many of things that one has put off, well the word cancer can be the light or beacon to new beginnings.
My husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer in June of 2008. I remember sitting on the chair that is usually found in examining rooms for loved ones; friend or family and hearing the word cancer being uttered. I suddenly found myself imagining that I was facing an ugly judge whose gavel I could hear pounding in my head. The chair felt small, the room felt small, and my husband appeared extremely vulnerable. I wanted to protect him.
The Urologist appeared to say the word cancer as if he had and probably did several times that day. I was so startled and when I returned to reality, I jumped from the chair and immediately went to sit next to my husband who was on the examining table and held his hand. I wanted to scream and ask him was he so calm. Don’t be calm for me I wanted to say, instead I put myself in the mode of the social worker that I was and preceded to ask billions of questions; like what it meant to have prostate cancer, would it hurt, and so on and so on. The physician was patient. He answered every question and proceeded to educate us about options, alternatives and treatment modalities.
The best part of the entire time with the physician was when he said that we did not have to make any immediate decisions. Driving home I asked my husband how he felt about the situation. He said do what you do so well and research those options, look at those alternative and together we would make the best decision possible with the information we had. I heard my husband‘s answer as a measure of faith in God.
Having faith was not about just saying well this was God’s plan. It was acknowledging that the plan had been set and that the answers were there for us to explore with his guidance. There was no reason to be afraid. We simple had to move with the tide and our surfboard was ready. I did the research, looked at the alternative and gave the information to my husband. We prayed and thanked God that although the word cancer was daunting, he gave us strength to deal with every aspect of the situation.
The treatment that my husband received was in one of the best institutions. In MD Anderson Cancer Center, he found loving people who cared for him. His physician was always available if we had questions or concern. Fortunately, my husband did not experience any horrible side effects. He was able to carry on with his daily living and continued to be a loving and caring husband. As for me I was given another opportunity to see faith at work.
My husband never complained about the drive to receive his treatments or that the days seemed long (at least to me) waiting for the other treatment day to arrive. His radiation treatments finally ended in September. I think he misses those nice people at the treatment center. They had a party and gave him a certificate for completion. It is not over, he will still require monitoring. As for me, I was grateful to be a part of my husband’s practice of faith. Our lives are brighter because the thing that we were able to see was not by our sight but by our faith.
