There are of course so many wonderful things about love and being in a relationship. At times you really are experiencing all those fantastic emotions that in the beginning you thought were just imaginary. Each day is a holiday and every time the two of you get together it's better than the last time.
Regrettably there is also the other side. Love puts you in a very vulnerable position. Your innermost thoughts and feelings have been laid bare. Put out on a silver platter and handed over to the one you love. They can either nurture it to make you feel better about being in the relationship or reject them in such a way that you never want to leave your house again. Sabotage
If you have experienced both from the same party then it can really send you on a downward spiral. You cannot escape the feeling that you have been used and discarded yet all the while you keep blaming one and only one person for this turn of events. Yourself.
What did you say to cause this relationship breakup? What did you do and why? Is there something you could have done to make them love you more? What was it and why didn't you think of it before?
There are an infinite number of questions you cannot help but ask yourself when a relationship comes to end. What makes it even rougher is it can easily become part of a never ending loop in your mind if you are not careful.
To survive a breakup and come out healthy (if not healthier) on the other side of it, there are a couple of things to keep focused on.
1. The Other Person
It takes two to be in a relationship. The other person is no better or worse than you which means they brought the good and the bad to the table just like you did. Sure you may have been willing to overlook some of their flaws but that does not mean they did not exist or that their imperfections did not add to the demise of the relationship. This leads to number two.
2. Avoiding the blind spot pedestal
There are times when feeling so good about the other person can play tricks on your point of view. Namely, that they can do no wrong. In the process you elevate them to an imaginary level they don't deserve; while at the same time whether conscious or not you push yourself downward. The angle that you both occupy has you looking up adoringly and the other person looking down on you. Naturally when the relationship ends it looks like the fault of the one who is at the lower end.
The other person was great but the relationship is over. It's okay to feel bad about it but is not okay to dwell on it endlessly and assign all the blame to yourself. So understand it took two to break up the relationship and you are just as good as anybody. Once you accept those basic facts then you will be in a better position to go forward.
