Adolescence is a difficult time for many teenagers. Rapid physical changes may make them uncomfortable and unable to accept their bodies. New demands socially may leave them unable to cope with shyness and uneasy with the opposite sex. School also becomes more important at this stage in their lives and they may feel pressured to make decisions about their future that they are not ready to make.
Some teenagers will get through with a minimum of fuss and only a few embarrassing moments. Others, however, find it all too much and withdraw – sometimes temporarily until they find their way, sometimes to such an extent that further problems will result if the behavior is not dealt with. Anxiety disorders are estimated to affect about 10% of children and teenagers.
Researchers have found that that more timid a person is as a young child, the more difficult it will be for them to deal with the demands of adolescence. This timidity may be inborn or learnt from a nervous or overly anxious parent. Teenagers who suffered from separation anxiety when younger are more prone to anxiety disorders.
Sometimes, anxiety begins with a change in circumstances – like divorce, illness, death of a family member or changing schools.
Signs and Symptoms
The symptoms may be obvious or very subtle. A moody teenager spending hours in his room listening to ear-splitting heavy metal is typical of what we expect from adolescents but there is a fine line between typical and problematic behavior. If the teenager is not doing as well at school or sports as they used to or they are not spending any time with their friends, then the parent or carer should be on the look out for further signs of anxiety disorder.
Is he or she a perfectionist – doing tasks over and over unnecessarily because they are afraid of other people’s reactions? Do they need constant reassurance about their worth – but don’t accept it when they get it? Some anxiety disorders manifest themselves in eating disorders or other self-destructive behaviors like using alcohol or drugs. In extreme cases, they may threaten suicide which must always be taken seriously.
Do they suffer from heart palpitations, trembling, sleeplessness and fatigue? These are all signs of an anxiety disorder.
How to Respond
It is a fact that these days, family members don’t have as much time for each other as they used to. Both parents usually work and so family time around the dinner table is much rarer than you would wish. But keeping communication channels open at all ages but particularly when your child becomes an adolescent is vital. Make the time to sit down and check out what is going on in your teenager’s life. Turn the TV and computer off and make sure they know they have your attention.
Listen without judging and don’t jump in and hand out advice at the first opportunity. Let them speak – ask questions that will lead them to formulate their own solutions. Instead of asking ‘yes and no’ questions like ‘Are you going to going to study harder?’ try asking them what they think they should do to do better at school or why they think their friend acted the way they did.
Recount all the times your child acted even though they were afraid of something so they realize they have dealt successfully with anxiety in the past – tell them that it’s normal to feel anxious when faced with the unknown. Teenagers often like to act as if they aren’t listening or don’t need your help, but will often go away and think about what you have said.
Ask for Help
Just as teenagers are often reluctant to ask for help, so too are parents. Sometimes, however, we just don’t have the expertise or skills to give our children the help they need. Talk to your family doctor or to teachers and they may be able to recommend professionals who specialize in treating adolescents. Anxiety disorders respond well to treatment and the danger is that if the problems are not dealt with, they may become more serious and even life threatening.
