Self-consciousness defined... excessively conscious of oneselfas an object of observation by others.
Self-consciousness is a very dangerous and negative emotion. Thevictim of self-consciousnesses says to himself:
· "What impression am I making?" · "Do I look well?" · "What arethey thinking and saying about me?" · "I am not equal to this,"· "I lack so many things," · "If I had only been born right," ·"I shall surely fail."
Now this defense mechanism isn't necessarily a stumbling block.It is a safeguard against rashness and over-confidence. The evilof extreme self-consciousness is that it makes you do so manythings that you do not wish to do. It can change you line ofconduct a hundred times a day, makes you say "yes" when youwould rather say "no," and, in short, robs you of you power andindividuality.
What is the remedy for this dreaded extreme elf-consciousness?
It is mainly a matter of securing control of your thoughts andintelligently directing them. The mind is a machine, which mustbe made obedient to the owner's will. When brought undersubjection, it will serve your highest and best purposes, butleft to itself it - may run easily to confusion and destruction.
Here you may interject, "But my mind wanders." Then go after itand bring it back. You say you can not? Who is operating yourmind? Does it run itself?
What would you think of a train that had no engineer, noconductor, no one to direct it, and was allowed to run anywhere?Yet this is what you permit with your train of ideas. Besensible. Take hold of yourself seriously. Set your will towork. Straighten your spine. Take time today for mentaloverhauling. You are about to educate your will - and it isserious business.
Procrastination will not do. From this time forward resolve tocontrol and direct your mental powers for definite purposes.
Constantly hold in your mind a high estimate of yourself, but besure you have reasons for doing so. It is of little use to sayyou are well if you are ill. Do not deceive yourself. You are nogreater than the sum of your thoughts and habits. You must havegood and sufficient reasons for your self confidence.
· Are your impulses of a noble nature? · Is your ambition lofty?· Do you high ideals and do you work persistently to realizethem? · Are you doing the best you can? · Do you have anuncompromising love for truth?
The mind is a prolific field for the growth of all kinds ofthought. If false and negative ideas are allowed to take root inthe field of your mind, they will spread like weeds withwonderful rapidity, and may easily discourage and overwhelm you.If you have long neglected this "mental field" you may now findyourself in a bad way.
The remedy for you, and for others so situated, is to patientlyroot out every obnoxious habit and to substitute strong,healthy, positive thoughts in their place. You must at first becontent with small victories, since you have permitted thismental field and garden to be overrun with these objectionablethought habits. But you can comfort yourself with the assurancethat in this way you can and will attain success.
Timid people concern themselves too much about what others willthink and say. They are constantly studying the impression theyare making upon people who probably are not even thinking ofthem. Their super sensitiveness causes them to imaginethemselves being criticized, slighted, and unfairly condemned bythose who are probably too absorbed in their own affairs tonotice.
You may be on the road to success when a single act of timiditymay derail your chances. People lose confidence in you if youlack faith in yourself. Courage is admired, fear never is.Courage is dignified, fear is repulsive. The person of courageis welcomed everywhere, while fear invites itself to a seat inthe rear.
Everyone should learn to stand firmly upon their own feet.
"Intellectual intrepidity," says Samuel Smiles "is one of thevital conditions of independence and self-reliance in character.A person must have the courage to be himself, and not the shadowor the echo of another. He must exercise his own powers, thinkhis own thoughts, and speak his own sentiments. He mustelaborate his own opinions, and form his own convictions. It hasbeen said that he who dare not form an opinion must be a coward;he who will not, must be an idler; he who can not, must be afool."
Super sensitiveness is a major fault by which you loseinitiative, self-reliance, and independence. A self-consciousperson must, sooner or later, rid themselves of this fault ifthey are to be preeminently successful by directing theirattention to the power of self confidence.
